Before the Monday night home game I realised it was a whole 19 days since I had last seen the mighty Saints (not so much a ‘lost’ fox. More, I dunno, mislaid?) That’s what bad weather and a greed for theatre tickets does for you. On the theatrical front I should report that Richard II narrowly beat 12 Angry Men but my man of the match, well play, was Martin Shaw in the latter as while David Tennant nailed it, he does look a bit odd with the long hair thing (not that I am so shallow as to have my opinion influenced by the looks of those on stage…)
Obviously it hasn’t been a true football desert, as I do have SKY and ITV to rely on. On the downside this did involve watching West Ham (the team of Mr TLF) concede eleven goals in two games. Well to be slightly more accurate it was mainly me watching the goals as he tended to leave the room in a stompy kind of fashion once the first few had gone in. The irony of course, which has not escaped him and several of my followers, is that if we were watching TATTPIB in their many TV appearances, Chez TLF would be a very jolly place indeed. It seems to giving great pleasure to some to query whether this was the year to go cold turkey on TATTPIB, whether they are succeeding because, to quote, “I don’t give a shit” or whether maybe I should ‘just go back to them.’ These calls were turning into a deafening chorus on Friday night – it reminded me of the Heaven 17 song, “Temptation”, but I stood firm. Well apart from a sneaky check of the score line against The Sheep (bad TLF). 4-1 to TATTPIB. Inevitable – I am starting to think they are winning just to piss me off.
Where was I? Oh yes Monday night’s game. AFC Totton, languishing in the bottom half of the league had tottered (BOOMBOOM) along to Clarence Park. Even though I made a fairly late appearance I still had time to mess with the bar staff’s minds as I eschewed (God that is a great word) the Stella for a J2O. I am not doing the dry January thing you understand. That is something I am not capable of. Instead I was having an AFD (alcohol free day) in an effort to give my liver some time off in lieu in light of its sterling efforts over Xmas and new year…and er most of January to date. I did of course not eschew my favourite snack based product, and was thus identified as TLF by Mark, the website editor. Well editor and also sado-masochist (sorry Mark). I say this not because of anything he was wearing but because he is the man taking a spreadsheet of the records of every St Albans game to date (and that’s quite a few games) and using it to input the player records onto the website. A labour of love and also a tribute to his Granddad who once played for the mighty Saints. Makes my weekly offering look a bit lazy.
It is fair to say that St Albans did make heavy weather of the game but as I have said previously ‘a win’s a win’ and at Clarence Park there is always something to put a smile on your face…which this week came in the shape of:
• The goal-scoring debut of Kerrea Gilbert. Yes I know he once played for Arsenal but more importantly (and I am pleased to see most reporters are now acknowledging) he played 34 games on loan, during the League One Championship winning season, for TATTPIB. Surely the pinnacle of any player’s career?
• The Totton shirts. No disrespect gents but someone’s mum did pop into BHS didn’t she? She spotted 15 white cotton T-shirts with navy sleeves? And BHS threw in a set of stencils to do the squad numbers.
• Davie Mac reviewing his 15…yes FIFTEEN golden goal tickets during the second half by the aid of some bad floodlights, and of course not winning with any of them, a perfect terrace moment. Makes my one golden goal ticket per game look well amateurish.
Oh and I also got introduced to Malcolm in the second half….’Just’ another one of the Scottish contingent I thought. Oh and then Ron and Davie mention he is the President of the Club. Thanks guys. If I had known that I would have curtsied, having been brought up proper.
So after the famine of late December/early January comes the feast of two consecutive Saturday home games….accompanied I can assure you, the bar staff and my liver by a feast of Stella to blot out any lingering memories of the J2O experience.
St Albans 4 AFC Totton 2
Raffle tickets purchased 5 Prizes won 0
Losing golden goal tickets purchased 1
Bacon fries consumed 1 packet
Additional item from Andy’s van 1. The best bacon cob in a very long time. With onions – thus contributing to my five a day. The healthy guide to non-league football, that’s me
Lager consumed ZIP, ZILCH, NONE. Instead a J2O. Flavour unclear – red and sugary. NOT to be repeated.
Thing Learnt This Week
See reference to J2O
Alcohol Free Fox