After a, let’s say ‘difficult’ couple of weeks work wise (And I am using the word ‘difficult’ in a nice understated English kind of a way), there was always going to be a tipping point and a good chance that this tip would involve a blog post and a technology disarrrrster. Imagine writing a blog, with not a single need to pause for inspiration, bon mots flowing, wit being applied at warp factor 10 and in the time it takes for the train to get from City thameslink station to St Albans City, the blog masterpiece is DONE. You hop off the train and BOSH, said document is corrupted, un-openable, un-emailable…I think the technical term is ‘fucked’. You can try and rewrite it, but nagging in your head is the fact that none of it is quite as good as the one you wrote 10 minutes ago.
The outcome is a gale-force-off-the-Richter-scale loss of temper. Can’t imagine? Think this was classic tortured artiste over reaction? OK. Imagine:
Stubbing your toe.
Dropping your toast, butter side down, and that was the last of the butter.
Being beaten to the last parking space at Sainsburys just as you were about to reverse into it.
Being on hold for a very long time to a utility company’s ‘helpline’.
Stubbing slightly sore toe again.
Desparately needing to use an electronic household item and it not working for NO obvious reason.
Delivery men promising to deliver sometime between 12 noon and 9pm and arriving at 08.59pm.
Discovering the red sock in your now pink ‘white’ wash.
Car on the drive refusing to start the day after you cancelled your AA Homestart.
Running out of loo roll at what we might call a crucial moment.
Stepping in dog poo.
Taking your shoe off to remove the dog poo and stubbing that bloody toe again.
I think you might now get the gist. Yep none of it is earth-shattering and world peace is not threatened (unless all those things happen to Mr Putin in quick succession I guess) but you are now CROSS and no amount of calming words or offers of wine will do. Shouting, stomping and sulking is the order of the day.
And so this week I do not bring you the intended bon mots but a picture that can’t fail to take me back to a happy and sunny day at Clarence Park last week. You see before you some of the leading lights in the Anglo-Norwegian drinking, quizzing and general merriment-making peace accord. Grassroots football at its best.
TLF 0 iPad 1
Swearing and acts of utter fury: countless
Bacon fries consumed: None. Too cross
Lager consumed: See above (told you it was bad)
Apologies to Mr TLF the next day for having to put up with this: Quite a few
Normal service etc