Gazzetta Clarence Park

Sameness is the mother of disgust,
Variety the cure.

Ah Signor Petrarch, it’s as if you spent your life hanging around Clarence Park on match days rather than thinking great thoughts and writing poetry in fourteenth century Florence. Admittedly the themes tend to smack of ‘sameness’ but the detail, my Humanist chum will always contain variety. Consider:

There will be beer. And we would be disgusted if there was not. But we will not always be sure how much. Or how much grief TLF will face if she refuses a fourth pint during the match and then has to miss out on post-match drinks as she needs to hunt and gather a Thai takeaway for Mr TLF.

There will be football.
But how well our team performs is not something that the wisest seer can predict. Last Satday we were talking a 4-1 win, with a cracking hat trick from Lee Chappell (my lord) and a slightly bizarre ref; last time I looked getting a yellow card for having the temerity to be head-butted was not in the laws of the game.

There will be tension and controversy. Not only am I pretty sure that the bacon fry recipe has changed BUT Duncan tried to suggest that clearly pink raffle tickets were purple…You can scoff but I think that economies have slid into recession for less.

There will be Norwegians. Sometimes. And they will be lovely and stand neatly in a line for a photo. Unlike our new and brilliant flags (ok it might be me who isn’t very good at photography, even when the editor tries his best to unfurl said items).

Neat Norwegians

Neat Norwegians

Errant flags

Errant flags

Well behaved flag

Well behaved flag


There will be nonsense. Well you all guessed that bit. I am starting to wonder if the amount of nonsense is not proportionate to the amount of beer consumed (a not unreasonable assumption) but down to a more complex formula included beer, weather and number of goals. Certainly we did surpass ourselves this weekend. A little bit of Irish dancing from Ron and myself, now known as the ‘jig of joy’ to celebrate the Saints equaliser. A discussion with our esteemed editor about whether a hidden hump (nothing rude, just when you are in a bad mood and you don’t realise until you are out of it) could be called a camel in disguise. And a most informed discussion about which is the best French fancy (I always vote pink but the yellow ones were surprisingly popular). We didn’t have any with us of course; it is just an obvious topic for the second half.

And now there will be extra worry. And potentially extra joy as I, on this occasion, successfully wish very hard for wins for Foxes and Saints at the same time. My first 6 pointer (yes I know that is NOT what people usually mean by 6 pointer but hey I am writing this stuff so what’s a bit of definition adjustment between friends).

Stick with me and the Saints, Francesco Petrarch cos we are variety-central.

Renaissance Fox

Match Stats
St Albans 4 Maidenhead Utd 1
Attendance:707
Losing goalden goal tickets: 2 (including the 90th minute…Nice)
Losing raffle tickets (PINK!): 10
Lager consumed: 3 pints Stella
Snacks: 1 packet bacon fries (at half time as per 2014/15 rules) and my first of the season Andy’s crispy bacon cobs with a side order of banter and football analysis)

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