Everybody sooner or later sits down to a banquet of consequences.

Technically the plan was a trip to the northern slopes of the South Downs and more specifically Petersfield (pop: 14,974), for a bit of FA Cup qualifying round malarkey. However my TLF-senses (like Spider-Man’s but less in tune with the need for life-saving) were tingling, hinting that maybe offering to stay at home rather than leaving Mr TLF at home, alone, again…blahblah, might be a wise idea. He was a bit irked (TLF’s word of the month), possibly due to my excessive week night absenteeism and lateness, but more likely down to the greeting he had received when he bumped into an old acquaintance at a conference, “HaHa, hello Mr TLF, been ages, but I know what you’ve been up to cos I read about you in TLF’s blog all the time.” This was followed by further chortling, which a sensitive Mr TLF could possibly interpret as a suggestion that Mr TLF was a bit of a comedy figure…..which might possibly have assisted in putting the Mr TLF snout out of joint (thanks for that James….)

Thing is of course you make these decisions, borne out of general concern for the other half but neither of you realise how dangerous this lurch that takes your Satday reeling in a different direction will prove to be. There are consequences…to whit:

* Apparently I can’t just sit and give the Sport section of the paper my full attention. If we’re spending the day together we are required to interact. Ridiculous, no one told me staying in meant I had to talk to him as well.

* The day is now all about him….self self self……So he gets to choose the lunch venue (although admittedly a fine tagine from Little Marrakech is a step up from a sarnie on the train to Petersfield).

* A minor economic crisis as I try to outdo the Greeks and being all out of decision-making powers have to buy two pairs of winter boots. “how much would two pairs of boots be from Jones the boot makers be then darling?” “that’s between me and my bank manager…..and in the region of what I like to call Ahem pounds.”

* And finally the piece de resistance…..We get to watch the whole of Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing, with the first 10 of the series (although Bruno is sometimes a bit trigger happy with the old 10 paddle to be fair). Mr TLF was so delighted I think he might have wished yours truly was a la Petersfield.

Bon appetit!

TLF Stevenson

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