While TLF’s rambling is generally concerned with all tings Footballing and Kultural there are sometimes such seismic, global, political events, that here at TLF Towers we recognise at moments like this we have a duty to not shy away from controversy but to address head on the issues of the day.
I refer dear reader, of course to the monumental news story of November and the hysterical reaction that followed it. Never before have I seen such an outpouring of anger, hatred and sheer bigotry as that prompted by the John Lewis Christmas advert.
The venom and vitriol inspired by foxes cavorting on a garden trampoline has been breath-taking. Since when did a fox not have the right to bounce!? Urban dwellers have informed us that foxes should be nowhere near any self-respecting trampoline as all foxes crap in their gardens, have loud fox lurve at unsociable hours and in their spare time mug old ladies, while your rural dwellers have been reminding anyone within reach of the Twittersphere that all foxes are lamb-murdering-b*stards. Just a few minor TLF points in response to this foxophobic witch hunt.
1. There aren’t just foxes on the trampoline. There is a badger, a hedgehog and a squirrel so cut the brethren some slack.
2. Foxes have as much right to a bit of trampoline fun as the next mammal.
3. It’s PRETEND!!!! It’s advertising dressed up as a bit of fun. ‘Wildlife-associated-with-urban-gardens-wind-up-cute-boxer-dog-with-trampoline-envy in an attempt to make you buy stuff.’ If you are going to be grumpy about it presumably you would also like to burn every copy of Fantastic Mr Fox and the relevant foxy bits of Aesop Fables.
Get over it you churls. And as for those objecting on the grounds that depicting Dad assembling the trampoline on Christmas Eve has ruined the Santa propaganda for every child? Any fule kno that Santa leaves the kit with a note asking Dad to help.
In case you don’t know what on earth TLF is going on about (probably not for the first time).