Unlike back to skool to do lists, this didn’t involve sewing name tapes into gym kit, buffing up the old protractor and sharpening pencils (do they even use pencils any more the yoof?). This list was all about eking out max value for the last few days of the holiday before as it was charmingly put, yours truly ‘stopped getting under [Mr TLF’s] feet’:
1. Clay pigeon shooting lesson with the most excellent Julian. Look out Mr TLF I am getting better!
2. Two final late and boozy lunches (these did not happen before items 1 or 4 I promise)
3. Sit through worst film ever seen. Critics, award winners and the box office might have loved The Revenant, the TLFs do not. But being stubborn once a film starts we see it through to the bitter end.
4. Test drive a second hand shotgun
5. Sulk at thought of impending return to work
6. Play hunt the work pass. I don’t get it. During any holiday, the work clothes don’t stray from the wardrobe and the work bag knows it’s place. But the work pass; always AWOL (yes I know putting it with my work bag should be the solution but let me tell you it doesn’t stay there)
7. Studiously ignore any Lesta game on telly in belief that this is lucky and then sulk at Mr TLF when he insists on switching the telly on because the game is exciting. I don’t WANT exciting. I want 3 points!
8. In the case of a certain Mr TLF be a disloyal git and have a cheeky double on West Ham and Lesta to lose
9. Commit to a healthier lifestyle after two weeks of excess, because as we all know going back to work doesn’t mean wine and chocolate become even more essential
10. Buy a second hand shot gun
Please note items 8 and 10 are in no way related.