Turf wars

Best performance this weekend?

To be honest, it was probably me and my new Flymo. This new line-up, making it’s competition debut, struggled early doors to gain a foothold, but slowly started to boss the park, with slick build up play and cutting edge (BOOM!). By the end; completely dominant.

A key bonus feature of this particular mower is that it has a special cut off switch, which means it just won’t work when there is football on TV. Although to be honest mowing might have been a better alternative to the France-Germany game. I missed the only goal because we were going through a tunnel and grabbed a pricey cab to get home for a second half that was as flat as a French crepe. And they were.

Things livened up for the Brazil game, with a change in tactics, from ‘give it to Neymar’ to ‘give it to Neymar and kick ten bells out of Rodriguez’. Mind you I think I would have preferred several kicks in the shins/body checks etc to a giant locust landing on me after I’d scored a penalty. A pitch invasion of biblical proportions. Proportion was what everyone was right out of with the news that Neymar’s World Cup had ended. It is certainly not how a player of that talent should leave the World Cup, but the accusations aimed at Colombia’s Zuniga have come from the Mount Everest of moral high grounds.

Don’t count Brazil out of it yet though. Scolari has other options and players like David Luiz who aren’t going to give up without a fight. He might look like the estranged brother of side Show Bob, but he runs his legs off and that was some free kick he scored.

The only moment of any excitement in the Belgium game was when Mr TLF piped up, “Mate! Look the ref has got spray paint for the free kicks!” Fifty-nine games in and he’s only just noticed. My work here is clearly NOT done. I couldn’t quite tell whether in the ITV studio Fabio Canavarro’s pained expression was because he couldn’t believe what Mr TLF had said either or because he really didn’t want to listen to Gordon Strachan for a minute longer. Never has a face said so clearly, “please go to the adverts.”

Still could have been worse, he could have been on the day before with Glenn Hoddle, who apart from using every verb in any tense except the right one, chose to respond to every Lee Dixon, “Hames” with a “James.” But then again this is the man who called Algeria, ‘Al-Jazeera’ so anything is possible.

The previously mentioned Flymo is a fetching shade of orange, matching my Holland shirt, which I am delighted to say has made it into the final week. Mind you the way I was chewing at it during the penalty shoot out I am surprised it is still in one piece. The extra time in that match was probably the best 30 mins of football of the weekend and the penalties ensured another substitute story.

The games got a whole load more cagey this weekend and I’ve have heard some of the pundits bemoaning that, but what do they expect? One mistake and you’re on the next plane home, but not before your boo-hooing fizzog has been beamed around the globe. Chris Waddle was one of the worst offenders for this outbreak of grumpiness and so I did love the comment from Alistair Bruce-Ball who during extra time in the Holland game said, “Well at least if it goes to the lottery of penalties we’ve got two experts Chris Waddle and Kevin Kilbane. Miaow!

So the predictable four are left. None are angels and all are flawed. Bring on Tuesday!

Lostolski Fox

France 0 Germany 1
Brazil 2 Colombia 1
Argentina 1 Belgium 0
Holland 0 Costa Rica 0 aet Holland won 4-3 on penalties

Phrase of the day-Spanish
Le no caber para arbitras
You’re not fit to referee

WorldCupballs This week some classic commentary bon with thanks to Private Eye mots
“Cameroon have got all their players inside the penalty spot.” Clarke Carlisle, ITV

Webthingy of the day

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