No, not more ramblings about everybody’s favourite programme seller and Clarence Park punmeister.
I thought that perhaps it was time to redress the balance and give Mr TLF a bit of good press…..OK if you are finished picking up your jaw from the floor I will continue. I am just aware that some of my readers call him ‘poor Mr TLF’, which is less about his bank balance and more about the amount of grief he has to put up with from yours truly. And even though I have just eschewed any football for a second weekend on the trot so we could spend some quality time together, when I look at my diary it does look suspiciously like there will be a TLF at a game every Satday between now and Christmas….Ooops. Well apart from one weekend, which is girls weekend away….Double Ooops.
So now seems a good time to acknowledge his tolerance, humour and handy-ness about the home (nothing to see here double entendre fans. Move on). It all started with the new porch. For a man who wanted to buy a house not requiring home improvements; he does like a home improvement. So a porch (well more a porchette if you ask me) was designed and built. Being someone of the ‘if it ain’t broke don’t fix it’ school of thought, more commonly known as the can’t-be-arsed-crew, I didn’t get too involved in all this creative excitement. Until it came to the decoration and then I reverted to female and football fan stereotype:
Him: So what colour do you want the door? White?
Him: Blue? Are you sure?
Me: Yep…or yellow and blue (possibly pushing my luck there)
Him: What sort of blue?
Me: Lesta blue. Not Cov blue.
Him: Of course (followed by a small sigh and possibly roll of the eyes).
Door duly affixed and painted. After a week of receiving a record number of those cards – you know ‘while you were out we left your parcel somewhere obvious for passing felons to half inch/to get wet/with a neighbour in another town.’ We realised now we couldn’t hear anyone knocking with their knuckles on the new frontdoor.
Him: I think we need a door knocker.
Me: (Trying not to sound like I’m resident on planet Bored) Right.
Him: They have fox door knockers.
Me: (Now sounding like small child in run up to Christmas) Oooh yes canwecanwecanwecanwe have one of those????
Him: (Not sure if this has worked out well or not) Yes of course.
Did you know there are thousands of fox door knockers on eBay? Fortunately we were only on page 4 of them when we found one that in my humble opinion, “had a nice face.”
Bid for, paid for and mounted (I have told you double entendre fans – on yer bikes). And TLF humoured.
So you see Mr TLF so tolerant and so patient. So I am sure that the news that I have sponsored (for a very reasonable sum) a Saints player without any previous mention of my intentions, will be water off a Mr TLF’s back…Treble Ooops.
I Just Got Carried Away (honest) Fox