“What time will we get to the stadium UGM?”
Finlay, aged 6. Saturday 1.45pm
Hmmm. Two urgent issues here:
1. My Godson needs to know that Clarence Park is perhaps a bit smaller than most grounds he sees on telly.
2.He is NOT to call me UGM in the environs of Clarence Park.
Or I could just distract him with more junk food and sugar……..Pre match Pizza and Pepsi (and alliteration) it is then.
It is fair to say that TLF is probably not the most obvious God parent material. Our erstwhile programme editor’s reaction certainly suggested that Finn’s parents might be two bacon fries short of a full packet in their selection. And that is probably why I am called the unGod Mother or UGM (pronounced UG-UM) for short. Kinda works.
I suppose it all depends on how you see the role of the godparent. Spiritual guidance and morals? Probably not. Shenanigans, rambling and daftness? Step forward God mummy TLF.
Football is of course a major priority, although sadly I am up against it in relation to choice of teams. You can send a baby all the Lesta baby grows you like but in the constant presence of his Forest supporting father it is never going to end well.
But a bit of St Albans is something we can all agree on and so Finn made his debut with he home game against Concord Rangers. While not afforded quite the civic and beery reception that our visitors from Worms experienced (perhaps for best) he was certainly afforded a lovely Clarence Park reception: greetings from our President, high five with the programme editor, kit kat from Andy and handshakes all round. Plus of course a small visit to the shop. You have to admire the boy, he has focus. That baseball cap might be one size fits all but that’s what he wants, it is adjustable, and, as it turns out, fairly jaunty on a small head.
In the first half we played it safe and headed for the seats, which was a novelty for me. While this did afford me a better view of the anguished arm waving, swearing and gesticulation of the mighty Jimmy Gray I have to say that it isn’t for me. Finn’s assessment of the referee was however heart-warming, “He has made a couple of mistakes this half UGM.” “Don’t call me…oh don’t bother. What mistakes Finn?” “Well he hasn’t sent off anyone from the blue team yet,” That’s my biased boy!
Boosted by half time sugar/alcohol intake it was time for Finn and his parents to step up and join the troops behind the goal. An early flare and loud singing caused a brief wobble but next thing I know we are at the front behind the goal (height issues might have had a part to play in this) and Finn has adopted an advertising hoarding as a percussion instrument to provide a bit of a beat to the chanting. #ProudUGM.
My guests were treated to a 2-0 victory and one of the best singing performances from the fans in a few weeks. Non-league football at its best followed up with dinner of burger and chips and an epic table football match or two.
And that people, is the TLF guide to successful god parenting.
Role model fox
St Albans City 2 Concord Rangers 0
Losing family sized purchase raffle tickets: 20
Beverage Consumption: UGM 3 bottles German Pilsner Finn 1 Pepsi, 1 orange juice, 1 coca cola.
Pre and mid match snackage consumption: UGM 1 packet bacon fries Finn 1 mini pizza, 1 kit kat, 1 bag cheese and onion crisps, major share in a tray of Andy’s finest fries