TLF is in a TIZZ
TLF is not MARDY
TLF has not GOT A COB ON (and if that doesn’t prove it’s the right word I don’t know what does as ‘having a roll on’ would sound like an expression of your deodorant preferences or possible something a little ruder)
Just in a TIZZ
Or perhaps even in a Chuzzlewit?
Or for the more London-centric Mr TLF
In a two ‘n eight.
But what the Dickens (BOOM!) I hear you cry, surely TLF should be in state of unbridled TLF joy? The football season, the next chapter in a tale of two cities is after all, almost upon us. Except it all feels a bit uncertain, a bit odd.
On the one paw, things look bleak; housing (BOOM!) as I do, fears that there might not be another season of rambling, quippage, whimsy, bad punning and literary football mash ups left in TLF.
On the other paw, if you pick wick your way through the local papers (pushing my luck there I warrant you) things look bright on the Clarence Park front. Arsenal’s third worst ever player (long story), Ian Allinson, avoider of relegation, owner of proper football manager apparel and all round genius has now had a whole summer to shape his squad, and set the tone for what is expected. As a result there is just a whiff of confidence about the prospects for the Mighty Saints.
And then on another other paw (see; paws much handier than hands if that’s possible – more of them to use in debate) there is just the utterly uncomfortable non-comfort zone that is supporting the reigning Premier League Champions. TLF should be dusting self down after another spectacular flirt with relegation not trying to manage giddiness levels at the idea of first trip to the new Wemberlee for Lesta and a first time in the Charity Shield (as we called it when I were a cub) and a first time in the (gulp) Champions League. And as any fule kno the number of good times for Lesta City are inversely proportional to the number of bad times so chances are it’s all going to go to eff and be really miserable.
But let’s paws (BOOM!) for a moment. As a wise author once told TLF (well in my head he did) “This is a world of action, and not for moping and droning in.”
There will be new adventures, new grounds and new people. Surely a rich source of inspiration awaits? And in any case looking at the TLF schedule, a Festival-Theatre-Holiday-Wedding roller coaster of weekends during August and September means that with one early exception TLF won’t be writing about football anytime soon.
And of course previously never experienced humiliations and angst are always good for crow barring in black humour and random Shakespearean tragedy references. The potential for comparing Saintly success with Lesta lamentation should not be underestimated. Defeat and misery will refresh parts of the blog that positive football stories cannot always reach.
Could be the best of times.
Could be the worst of times.
Bring it on and prepare for rambling on a European scale.
And maybe even some larks.