Satday at t’Park.
I’m slightly frayed around the edges due to one too many cheeky red wines in the company of my parents and the mighty Fairport Convention. I’ve endured a 6 mile run, an ill advised virgin train ‘snack pack’ (possibly not as ill advised as the cheeky red wine but definitely with less nutritional value) on the journey back from the Western bit of the Void and I’m feeling a bit peaky.
The only thing for it is self-medication and so Dr TLF prescribes one bacon cob (take with liquid), one packet bacon fries (take with further liquid that should cost about £3.50 per pint) and a large dose of clubhouse chat. Slowly the patient is on her way to recovery until she suffers a serious setback. Before we have even taken our spot behind the goal, St Albans have conceded. Not what the doctor ordered.
As we take our place and I perform the rarely seen martial arts move, “crouching TLF, hidden golden goal ticket to check while carrying unsteady pint” , I joke that for once I don’t mind going one down this early as I know I am sure that this time I have got the golden goal ticket in my pocket. And bugger me. I have.
BOSH!
In theory the only way is up. Sadly not on the pitch. We go on to lose 3-1. It is not pretty. The officials are worse than abysmal and it’s all a bit lacklustre. We can’t even get our chanting right as half of us take up the refrain, “you only sing when you’re winning”, as Wealdstone score their third (check the scoreline readers and do the math).
On the up side, we do get to chant the factually accurate, “You’re not fit to referee” when he goes off injured and there are cheery Norwegians. And even Philosophical Norwegians who, wrapped in their national flag at the end of a disappointing game console me with a very cheerful, “Shit happens.” He is right.
I go home in a zen like state of mind.
….Nothing to do with the forty quid in my pocket and the three pints of Stella.
I am a WINNER.
Amarillo Slim Fox
Match stats
St Albans 1 Wealdstone 3
Attendance: 877
Lager consumed: 3 medicinal pints
Snackage: 1 restorative, life preserving bacon cob and one packet bacon fries
Losing raffle tickets – 10, but hey who cares?
Goalden goal tickets purchased: The wining one. Nuff said