When it comes to football tournament wallcharts, its TTLF I am afraid. That’s not a typo. That extra T stands for totalitarian. These are crucial documents of historical value and poor completion, e.g. different coloured inks, changes of handwriting, mixed capitals or lazy completion will not be tolerated. The items themselves need to be of sturdy quality (vellum is preferred), they have four weeks to survive and cannot afford to be ink sensitive or easily torn. A quill should never be used. There also need to be at least three. One at home, one in my office (for fixture consultation purposes only not to fill in), and one in the communal office.
Just because it is in the communal office does not of course mean that anyone can fill in the scores willy nilly. Fortunately my closest work colleagues respect humour me in this regard and while I was out of the office defended the honour of my wallchart, even advising the President that ‘only the woman with the mad hair’ can go near it.
It’s at work and it is the responsibility of TLFEA
It is good to sometimes play the benign dictator of course and so there was a small bit of TLF relenting. Jamie, my exec adviser (now known as TLFEA) is now allowed to fill in the office wallchart, providing he follows the rules. His numbers are very neat. He is also taller than me and as you will see from the picture below, for at least the group stages TLF is needing a bit of performance enhancement to ensure no wobbly numbers on the home wallchart.
Free with every Grauniad wallchart a stool available for the vertically challenged
Sadly no matter how much of a Paddington Bear hard stare we give the wall charts, Peru are on their way home. France continue to be a bit flaky but get the results, which doesn’t bode well for future opponents should they get out of second gear. While Messi looked miserable there was greater misery to be the found on the face of Mr TLF who watched his cheeky double crumble as Argentina produced a largely insipid performance. Am not sure what was worse, the play in the first half or the whining of Radio 5’s Chris Waddle and Jonathan Pearce. Gambling is a mug’s game but I will no doubt be indulging at the weekend if only because I feel a bit guilty at the ahem, wisdom TLF provided to TLFEA for his disastrous treble and need to try and make good.
The Socceroos are still in with a chance of making it through to the last 16, VAR coming to their rescue, which was a bit harsh on Danish striker Yussuf Poulson who has now conceded a VAR penalty in each of his games. Good work Yussuf!
The weekend brings us nine matches and if that wasn’t enough it is also Alban weekend which means enactment of the story of St Alban and a street festival, where TLF will be putting in a shift on our football supporters club stand, before hot pawing it home for the England game. Hopefully without dislocating anything and without blood pressure rising. While patriotism dictates the importance of 1pm on Sunday for me, 4pm and Senegal/Japan is also a TLF must view. Partly as two teams yet to get full attention, partly cos it will annoy Mr TLF but also because I think it might be quite entertaining and I want to witness coach Aliou Cisse’s goal celebration.
Serbia/ Switzerland potentially throws up political sensitivities, especially Shaqiri’s decision to have the Kosovan flag sown into one of his boots. With Serbia not recognising Kosovo that has provoked a little bit of social media FUSS. Often though pre-match controversy leads to nothing on the pitch. We shall see.
Of course even when there are such important matters to attend to it is important to remember your loved ones. So I am taking Mr TLF our for lunch. He is confused about the timing of our booking, but if he paid a bit more attention to the wall chart, all would become clear.
99.6% of TV viewers in Iceland watched their opening game. If you too want to be just another viewing statistic then put a reservation sign on your sofa, make a house arrest on the remote control, chill a suitable supply of beverages and have your wallchart pen at the ready.
And if it’s not your wall chart…leeeeeeeave it!
Comrade Foxski
Dish of the day: Switzerland?
Melted cheese? Don’t mind if I (fon)do
https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/1880633/authentic-swiss-cheese-fondue
Chant of the day: Icelandic
Who are ya?
Hver ert þú?