Well it wasn’t really a pub.
And it wasn’t really mine.
And unless you had really been at the pre-match Stella I don’t think any of the glamourous outdoor bar staff bore even a slight resemblance to that doyen of the Queen Vic, Barbara Windsor. And don’t even think of suggesting more Mitchell Brothers than Mitchell Mother or there will be trouble.
Note the required leg angle for perfect pint pouring
But it was still technically a bar. There was a table separating punters from staff. We had beverages to flog and TLF and Julie were making the most of bar style badinage and pint pouring.
At the end of the last unsuccessful Clarence Park trip, TLF had vowed to eschew (BOOM!) the teetotal matchday experience, purely in the interests of bringing the Mighty Saints luck of course. Offering to help with the Three Brewers bar as a salesperson in addition to embracing the lucky Stella, seemed the obvious thing to do – consumer and purveyor would surely mean double luck. Such an approach did mean that TLF was nowhere near the moolah of course; Michael was I/C money belt, the general consensus being that pints of Stella are not performance enhancing on the mathematics front.
And early on it looked like TLF’s commitment would pay off, with the Mighty Saints taking the lead. Cue suitable celebrations in the outdoor bar/shop viewing area. Cue slightly more raucous TLF celebrations upon checking her golden goal ticket. Our erstwhile shopkeeper and programme editor did think about sending out a warning message across the walkie talkie ring of steel that we now deploy on matchday, but he quickly realised that even after two pints a golden goal crazed TLF does not pose a clear and present danger.
Ker-ching!
There was however danger on the pitch, as the Mighty Saints’ lead lasted a whole three minutes.
And that was that. We served more beer. The punters were nice if slightly overloaded with £20 notes and nothing smaller. As beer demand slowed, the dynamic stand in duo were released from our temporary place of work to watch most of the second half from behind the goal and so like everyone else grew more and more frustrated with our team, the ref and the opposition’s antics. I think I preferred being behind bar(s), but TLF’s not bitter….just hop-ing for more.
Time gentlemen please Fox (or at least let’s call time on puns like that)
Match stats
St Albans City 1 Eastbourne Borough 1
Attendance: 510
Goalden goal winning ticket: MINE!
Consumption: A draw inspiring 3 pints and one bag bacon fries; if only we could work out what would make for a winning combination