Like a grumpy teenager, TLF is stomping up some metaphorical stairs towards the keyboard.
“TIDY UP YOUR BLOG! AND DON’T GIVE ME THAT LOOK YOUNG FOX. YOU KNOW YOU DIDN’T FINISH WITH A NICE NEAT FLOURISH AT THE END OF LAST SEASON”
I hate to say this. But it’s true. Impending big birthday party (big in both milestone and party dimensions), tired, grumpy, busy at work and as the weeks go on you really can’t be ar$ed to even waft a paw in the direction of a keyboard. And then before you know it the new season is lurking in the far corner that is the end of this week.
TLF isn’t renowned for tidiness but the guilt has well and truly set in now. A quick glance at the trusty notebook indicates that not only were there a few ideas jotted down, but in one case there was a whole epic tale scribbled down, that never made it into Calibri font size 11. Still no point in crying over spilt blogs; what we need is a whistlestop ramble to clear the decks ready for what will no doubt be another smorgasbord of footballing delights.
Last time out, it was April and TLF was bemoaning enforced football absence due to work commitments, made slightly palatable courtesy of an afternoon finish and a chance to take out football-free frustrations on a few clay pigeons. Fortunately, after that things reverted to an element of normal:
Chelmsford at home-Lovely ex colleague Sarah visits-beer stall & shop duties therefore relinquished-TLF introduced to the corner game (all put a quid in, every time there is a corner the ‘pot’ passes onto the next person in alphabetical order, whoever holds the pot at final whistle wins)-TLF embraces corner game and cheers at inappropriate moments fully focussed on following the money not the victory-TLF wins!-anguished calls for VAR due to incorrect passing of the funds-or as it is Grand National Day a stewards enquiry?-very lovely colleague (and runner up) Sarah intervenes claiming possession nine tenths of law-TLF triumphant.
To the city that only TLF can correctly pronounce – BATH -family is visited-park run is completed-drinking commences-we revel in the half time drinks ordering system and a fine away win. A very dubious (but cheap!) pub is visited post match and Adrian is triumphant in the meat raffle (not so much half a cow more a steak pack from Morrison’s)-another pub-another game-a less than sober TLF takes on a bloke at Connect 4-bloke’s girlfriend possibly more intense about this nail biting encounter than entire football crowd from earlier-TLF loses-possibly for best-back to pub we started in-more beer-a request at some point to turn the singing down a notch or two (oops)-TLF and Julie toil back up steep hill to very loveable B&B-while developing an unrealistic and beer-fuelled plan about going to France. Wake up-never speak of that plan again-well not for a while.
Easter – after weekend away TLF does decent thing and enters the FFZ-quality time with Mr TLF is spent-while keeping in touch with Saints’ playoff hopes via text.
Torquay at home-last game of the season-and all we need to do is beat the league champions, pray that other results go our way and will be in the play offs-as John Cleese says, “it’s the hope not the despair”-the former gets a kicking within the opening minute as Torquay take a very early lead-hope continues to fade-unlike the beer queue which is long-the TLFs are i/c the bar during the match which is good-we can see less-and once the money belt is adjusted to Mr TLF’s sylph like figure all is well-him and JJ looking after the bottles is an interesting vision-TLF warns them to play nicely and takes a small Stella break-end result is not unpredictable (the game NOT those two working together).
A week later-birthday proper-the ‘will we, won’t we’ of the play offs is over-Lesta can’t get relegated on my birthday which they really did one year-all is well in TLF world.
A week later-complete with appropriately size hangover for a 50th birthday party TLF keeps vaguely in touch with the last home game of Lesta’s season from a hot tub and hair of the dog-oh and Mr TLF-general feedback from the terraces is I was in the best place.
Goodbye 18/19 season you took a little more than you gave and broke my heart in a way I would never have expected and never want to experience again. As ever TLF will be back, in ooh about four days, for more diary juggling, football watching, beer serving, beer consuming and minor adventures.
The late late Fox
As birthday presents go, you can’t beat your very own handmade Lesta Fox and Sammy the Saint