The arrival of twelfth night on Sunday meant time to take down the Christmas clutter (copyright Mr TLF), clog up the hoover bag with pine needles and collate some key TLF festive data. Why are you looking like that? Everyone does that don’t they?
The exact date of twelfth night is up for some debate, but at least it is an issue on which VAR does not have jurisdiction. If you think Christmas Day is the first day of the twelve days of Christmas then get your tinsel down on 5th but if you think the 26th is the first day of Christmas then feet (and baubles) up until 6th. Although to be honest that doesn’t quite chime for me, because if twelfth night is also the eve of the epiphany and the epiphany is on the 6th then the 5th must be the twelfth. A more extreme approach is also available should you want to go utterly Ian Holloway about it all then you can take the view that twelfth night is twelve days after you first put your decorations up. At which point I am afraid I will feel the need to cancel our friendship.
There’s a whole load of other tradition associated with twelfth night apart from the decoration removal but perhaps I’ll save that for another year and get back to the Yule statometer.
The advent calendar comes down too, but advent is a whole different rambling topic so let’s return to those Xmas reflections, rather than any tedious, celebrity
Successful negotiation of footballing conflict of interest by Santa: One. Tradition dictates that here at TLF Towers we have our own post 25th celebration if we have been away. This year without first consulting the fixture list we selected 28 December, putting Santa in a very difficult position as West Ham were hosting the Mighty Foxes. Not a man to sit on the fence by going for what would have been a danger free draw, he granted TLF a ‘second Xmas day’ victory. Wisely to avoid any second Xmas day sulking, the game was not watched and all devices were shutdown.
TLF festive comestible triumphs: Two. And both firsts at that. The marzipan-ing and icing of a Xmas cake, followed by homemade pigs in blankets (who knew that was even possible!?)
TLF festive comestible disasters avoided: One. Always good to spot before embarking on the icing journey that royal icing needs glycerin, not the gelatine that a dozy TLF has purchased.
Power of new lucky Lesta socks: Infinitesimal. Socks opened approx 3pm 28 May. Pre-sock fixtures had seen two consecutive defeats. The sock era has seen three out of three wins. Yes I knew Lesta only drew in the Carabao Cup, but they are obviously not Carabao Cup socks, any fule kno that.
Best Christmas socks. Ever!
Footballing victories witnessed live by TLF: None. Zip. Nada. Happy New Year’s Day at the Hemel. NOT.
Resurrection of an eighties classic: One, but multiple boxes. Goodbye artisan chocolates and welcome back the Mint Matchmaker.
Behold! The makers of match…..
Alcohol consumption: see power of lucky new socks data…..
And only 350 days until Christmas 2020.
Malvolio Fox