Local derbies are never surrounded by good grace or good behaviour and on this occasion the trash talk ahead of my Foxes versus his Hammers started early. There was a premature, and in TLF’s opinion, unnecessary act of provocation as Mr TLF ostentatiously bedecked his feet in his claret and blue socks a full 24 hours before kick off.
Worse was to come during Satday lunch and the pre-match preview. TLF expressed the view that home or away was not relevant when behind closed doors. Mr TLF’s response? “But my boys have got to slog it all the way up to baby eating land.”
Fair to say battle lines were by now drawn and the request for access to TLF’s SkyBet App to facilitate a small wager was met with #NotOnMyApp.
Any fule with an eye to the football results will kno that was as good as it got for TLF. Attempts were made not to share half time snacks in the segregated living room but that seemed really mean. The only TLF success was keeping the non-swearing vow intact. But even that was bittersweet; saying “bog off” to your domestic Hammer is not as satisfying as something along the lines of, “Stick your *&%king bubbles where the *&%king sun does not shine, Darling.”
Post the final whistle sympathy comes via WhatsApp from Red Julie with the simple message, “BURN HIS SOCKS. BURN HIS SOCKS.” By the time the claret & blue of Aston Villa had finished with Liverpool I bet she wishes I had…and she bought them for him!
STILL Grumpy and seeking revenge Fox
Snackage segregation