As the saying almost goes, a weekend of two halves. The occupants of TLF Towers did of course do their level best to achieve some consistency. Moscow Mules were made and consumed on a daily basis, badinage was exchanged, bets of varying success were made, and commentators were sworn at. My visiting friend Iain noted how odd it is that all those who I berate seem to have the same middle name, for example Martin ‘effing’ Keown and his ridiculous, ‘people will be fearful of England. They won’t want to meet them.’ Although perhaps I am being unfair and this was a reference not to the squad’s footballing prowess but their table manners and he meant you wouldn’t want to meet them for dinner.

There was some early disappointment when after a major wall chart update session, TLF spotted a school boy error – one team playing twice in the round of 16. Fortunately Mr TLF came to the rescue with a cut-to-size piece of sticky label and Mexico won’t now have to face Sweden as well as Brazil.

Away from TLF churlishness, Satday proved to be an inspiring and breath taking day, and not just because a very profitable double paid out. The lucky poulet continued to shine its silvery magnificence in the direction of France, with Mbappe becoming the first teenager to score two goals in a World Cup match since Pele in 1958. After that seven goal fest, there was an inevitable worry that the second game of the day would be a bit dull, interrupted by occasional thuggery with Ronaldo scoring the winner, while his shorts disappeared up his bum.

How wrong a TLF can be. Uruguay a team that used to be the antithesis of Lear’s more sinn’d against than sinning, have changed. Their manager, Oscar Tabarez has now been in charge for 12 years, and he has clearly worked out that together his team can achieve more by keeping their feet down and their teeth to themselves. Their first yellow card of the tournament only came in their defeat of Portugal, but it was the goals that caught the eye. Great movement and passing for the first followed by that glorious curling effort from Cavani. Obviously if I hadn’t bet on them and they hadn’t been playing Portugal I would have been less buoyant about the scoreline, but that’s World Cup football hypocrisy for you.

I’m sorry to see Spain go. There were not my sweepstake team, nor to be honest has they illuminated the tournament since that draw with Portugal but I was hoping that Koke would do something match changing so I could get in a headline using the hokey coke. Equally frustrating was that it has taken me until they get knocked out to realise who their manager, Hierro reminds me of. Give him grey hair put him in a homeguard uniform and all of a sudden, and younger readers may wish to look away now for fear of not understanding WHAT I am taking about, there it is; Sergeant Wilson from Dad’s Army.

And there was something quite Warmington Sea about their lack of ideas as to how to get past the rather large bus that Russia had set up. Last time we looked number of passes was not relevant for getting through to the quarter finals.

As my wise Mummy TLF said, penalty shoot outs are like buses, you wait for one and then two turn up at once. Hard to take sides at this point as the day’s double was out the window (rescued by a secret bet for Russia/Spain draw at 90 mins) and to be honest it was all a bit wearing after the joy and bonhomie of the previous day. In the end it was the Lesta related extra time penalty saving Kasper Schmeichel that won TLF over. And in typical Lesta related fashion, hope quickly turned to despair. The better team through, but not as impressive as they had been during the knockout stages.

If things went bonkers today and Belgium and Brazil went out, the competition would be bewildering and many would people would get a bit too excited about Ingurland’s chances before they have even made it out of the last sixteen. I did wonder if Mexico might push Brazil. They certainly caught the eye when they beat Germany in Group F, but now we know Germany are pants.
TLF is a bit confused and should probably…
STEP AWAY FROM THE NEWLY INSTALLED SKYBET APP.

Saddest news of the weekend, was the loss of Peter Firmin, creator of some TV classics including the Clangers and Ivor the Engine. Happy memories of my childhood. RIP fine gentleman.

Bagpuss Fox

Daily web link – this week TLF shares some of the world cup inspired stuff that has her made her smile

If you didn’t see these photos in Satday’s Grauniad then they are well worth a look; different nationalities, who live in England watching their teams in Moscow. Great pictures. Sorry if the link doesn’t work – WordPress very mardy today. Go on their website and hunt them down – worth it.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2018/jun/30/watch-the-world-cup-last-10-minutes-christian-sinibaldi

I’ve got a confession to make.

To be fair, or TBF as I used to say with my mates in Brum when I was young and foolish, you might have a sneaking suspicion. The little bon mots, the regular tut at the bottom of the blog. I get them all sorted at the weekend so I have a week’s worth in advance.

Don’t look at me like that, I’m trying to do this, watch the games and keep my job.

Anyhoo what that meant was that my pre-prepared multiple translation phrase of the day, included a German translation, and as any fule kno the language has to be for teams playing. Not those who are knocked out. Let’s write it off as a happy accident.

Yesterday saw Senegal go out because they had more yellow cards than Japan, a disappointing end to the world cup for them but one which their coach took with good grace. Not sure whether a very Japan thought qualification was guaranteed if they irritated the crowd as much as that France/Denmark bore-fest earlier in the week, but their tactics did keep TLF’s theory about pointless teams getting something out of their final game so thanks for that.

Having sort of looked forward to the Ingurland game on grounds it didn’t matter, so I could enjoy it, I now realise if there’s no angst I’m not interested. This soft toy resident of TLF Towers had made a huge effort to show his support but fortunately his mask (any fule kno a bear can’t do face paint) is not single use and will be deployed for next week’s game.

More disappointing than the performance of our second string was the realisation that ITV were inflicting Glenn Hoddle on us not only for this game but again next week. My (world) cup truly doth runneth empty. Fresh television hell was even available after the game, with some sort of evening version of Good Morning Britain discussing football. Nothing says ‘the magic of football’ more than Piers Morgan being vaguely patronising to Pamela Anderson who knows nothing about the sport, but is the current paramour of one of the French squad. Cue ‘witty’ questions about being a WAG and whether there is a sex ban the night before a game. Pass me the remote along with that sick bag could you?

It is of course ALL Theresa May’s fault if that defeat which has put us into the ‘easier’ half of the draw spells the end for Ingurland’s World Cup:
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2018/jun/28/theresa-may-scores-own-goal-holding-up-belgium-football-shirt

You will of course all be twiddling your thumbs today and for those who don’t want a break from football related matters, can I recommend you tootle along to the IPlayer. There is John Motson’s recent appearance on Desert Island Discs, which is a delight. A real gent, with a bit more sharp wit than he might always have been allowed to display in his time commentating. And after that ‘My world cup sticker mission’. A tale of a hunt for six crucial stickers, recommended by my brilliant friend, Julie Scot.

The business end, as they say, returns on Satday. It being knockout time, there is I guess the risk that the caution levels will rise, and thus the thrills diminish, with so much more at stake for every mistake made. The France shirt will be dusted off for tomorrow and the Lucky Poulet has had a small spruce up, all ready for the last 16.

As for Uruguay/Portugal TLF is hoping for a 22-man brawl and expulsion from the world cup for both sides. It’s not charitable but it is how I feel.

Also feeling less than charitable is Mr TLF. He has asked what my visitor Iain, (friend from Uni, ex finals- revision buddy and ex house mate) and I will be doing this weekend.
“Er. Watching football.”
“what else?”
“Er…watching football?”
Exit Mr TLF stage left, pursued by a wallchart.

I will see you Monday. Have a bonne weekend and if you like a tipple, mix yourself a Moscow Mule, 8/10 Magic Chicken owners said their chicken recommended it.

Rachmaninoff Fox

NO GAMES = NO ANTHEMS.
Instead a triple Phrase of the day to recognise the seriousness of our football vacuum: Spanish/ French/Danish
What do you mean there are no games tonight? Nightmare!
¿Qué quieres decir con que no hay juegos esta noche? ¡Pesadilla!
Que voulez-vous dire qu’il n’y a pas de jeux ce soir!? Cauchemar!
Hvad mener du der er ingen spil i aften!? Mareridt!

Boris Becker, Martin Heidegger, Steffi Graf, General von Hindenburg, Angela Merkel….can you hear me, Angela Merkel, your boys took one hell of a beating!

It’s shame there isn’t a really good word for ‘the experience of pleasure that is derived from another’s misfortune’. It would need to be a foreign word to provide that extra level of satisfaction. Ah well, you can’t have everything.

Thanks to South Korea, TLF’s world cup shock exit bus has a passenger after all and in the most amusing, dramatic and un-German-like circumstances. Two spectacularly late goals, one where I am sure the Germans wanted to invoke the Monty Python philosophy football sketch lines.

The Germans are disputing it! Hegel is arguing that the reality is merely an a priori adjunct of non-naturalistic ethics. Kant, via the categorical imperative, is holding that ontologic exists only in the imagination, and Marx is claiming that it was offside.

But the genius of Python is no match for VAR or indeed Toni Kroos and his assist for South Korea’s first goal. And a second goal borne out of the calamitous approach of Marcus Neuer…and that’s a kind description, my mate Chris Sutton of Radio 5 Live did not hold back.

Meanwhile Mexican fans were going through the wringer as their team surrendered to Sweden and they no doubt spent more time refreshing their phones than watching the game. Wikipedia was quickly in action last night, with Cho Hyun-Woo, South Korea’s keeper now being described as a ‘Mexican Saviour or One True God’. All this must have made qualification extra sweet for Sweden after the taunting by Germany’s bench on Satday following the Kroos free kick. Well not the bench obviously, the occupants of said seating.

If you read the papers today, the grown up ones anyway, the writers are telling us why we should have seen expected Germany’s failure to qualify for the next round (for the first time since 1938!). A divided camp, a reliance on reputation not form (Neuer for example has hardly played at all this season) and an arrogance that they could just turn up and win the thing apparently. Funnily none of this showed up in the pre-tournament guides I read, but hey I’m too happy to be picky.

I imagine that Joachim Low isn’t feeling the lurve today (BOOMBOOM!)

For the avoidance of doubt, it’s not a Germany thing. Just like the last three World Cup tournaments, there is something vaguely satisfying about the world cup holders crashing and burning. It’s entertaining and it is of course something that as an Ingurland fan I have never experienced. Talking of which. NO let’s be chronological about this.

The evening games weren’t unpleasant to watch/listen to, but they felt a bit ‘after the Lord Mayor’s world cup shock exit’ to be honest. Brazil seemed to move up half a gear and Costa Rica were delighted to finally score some goals and leave with a point.

Today we finish off the group stages – doesn’t time fly etc. Group H, has three teams still in the mix as they say in media circles. Japan only need a point and they face the so far disappointing Poland. Having said that members of the ‘nul points after two group games’ club have so far in the last Group games gone to great lengths to not leave Russia in a pointless state and so there might yet be a twist this afternoon.

Now, where was I before I so rudely interrupted myself in the interests of chronology? Oh yes. The home nation, Blighty. Can I recommend against boarding, just yet, the “because Gareth Southgate is a more genial and open-minded Ingurland manager than we have seen for many a year, has made the players into a bunch of people we quite like and Germany are out we will win the World Cup” bus? It is lovely to be facing the last group game without the need for nail biting, but so far we have played two teams who aren’t that good. Yes of course I want us to win the ruddy thing, but a sense of perspective isn’t a bad idea, particularly if we don’t want to experience a hefty dose of the thing that there isn’t a really good word for, but if there was it would need to be foreign.

Should we try and not win against Belgium or kick the bejeezus out of them so we don’t top the group as a result of more yellow cards? Personally I’d recommend play the best we can and see what happens. I am a little disappointed to hear that in the event of it being all square at the top of Group G, FIFA officials will draw lots to see who is officially top of the group. I do think there is an element of absurdity in that wording. It feels like an attempt to give a sense of occasion to a minion from FIFA pulling out a single piece of screwed up paper from an official FIFA branded baseball cap. Personally I would like to see the two managers engage in a best of three scissors, paper, stone, on the centre spot at full time.

Sit back, and rarely for Ingurland…RELAX

Nureyev Fox

National anthem fact fest: Senegal
Pincez tous vos koras, frappez les balafons known also as Le Lion rouge was composed by Herbert Pepper, with lyrics by Leopold Sedar Senghor.
“Sound, all of you, your Koras, Beat the drums, The red Lion has roared”
Chant of the day – Polish
You don’t know what you’re doing
Nie wiesz, co robisz

Check these out if paragraphs one and four mean nowt to you.

TLF has always been one for arguing the importance of footballing garments. Sooner or later Peru were going to get a win, cos TLF has a replica shirt. Et voila. Really pleased for Peru – two goals and a win; their first in 40 years at a World Cup. I thought that was a ridiculous fact and then I realised that Nope, sadly I am just an OLD TLF. What next for their opening goal scorer Guerrero whose suspension for a positive drugs test (of the Bolivian marching powder variety) will now be revisited? Fair play to the captains of the other teams in his group who all supported his request that the case be looked at after the world cup…unless he is their dark web contact of course.

Gambling wise things were also looking up by the denouement of Group C, TLFEA had been tempting TLF with SKY bet odds. He has an account. FATAL. He despaired at my modest stakes, but I have some embarrassing weekend losing bets to make up for; bets that I have chosen not to share with you dear reader. Fortunately, it all worked out, although I am not sure how pleased I should be at winning anything as a result of the snoozefest that was Denmark/France. Fortunately, TLF was in a meeting for the whole of that game so I don’t feel like I missed anything otherwise I might have been taking 40 winks a la Diego.

Also benefiting from the law of football garments was Argentina’s manager Jorge Sampaoli. Changing from his traditional ‘stereotypical soap opera villain’ outfit to the rather tightly fitting official team tracksuit, helped an almost imploding Argentina to nick a win in the 86th minute against Nigeria. Rumours are that our Jorge hasn’t done much managing recently; the players have decided they know best and team formation and rousing half time talks are now their domain. True or not it was instructive to see that he was straight down the tunnel at the end of the game, while the squad and staff celebrated on the pitch.

That game was on TV while Iceland/Croatia was on the laptop. Another heart breaker for the little guys. It was bad of me to want Croatia to stop attacking. “You have qualified. Do a France, take your foot off the gas. If only to reduce any chance Argentina might have of qualifying.” Clearly like so many people they weren’t listening to TLF.

One final observation on garments. If I was the Croatia keeper I’d feel a bit miffed. Their change shirt is just as cool as the home kit, but still all he gets is green. Still at least he’s through to the last 16. The Croatian coach celebrated by casually slipping a loose lock of his locks hair behind his ear like a poor man’s Poldark.

Today is a case of What the Ef(f)?
Three teams can still qualify in the top two positions from Group E, while any of the teams in Group F could make it through. Being the fan of both the underdog and football upset clearly TLF has boarded the ‘anyone but Germany and Brazil’ bus. Appreciate that unlike a Thameslink train I’ll probably have my choice of seats on this particular mode of transport.
All aboard! Ting ting!
Oleg Fox

National anthem fact fest: Germany
The music to ‘Deutschlandlied’ was composed in 1797 by Joseph Haydn.
The lyrics, which were attached to the music in 1841, were written by a German poet called Hoffmann von Fallersleben. These days they only use the third verse.
“Germany, Germany above all,
Above all else in the world”

Chant of the day – Swedish
Who are ya?
Vem är du?

Proponents of VAR argue that it will reduce ill-tempered, or possibly tedious debate regarding refereeing decisions and also stop players questioning the referee. Working well isn’t it?

I do feel slightly sorry for the referee who incurred soooo much wrath from Shearer et al, and what terrifying wrath that must be. If a VAR man, and I believe it is all men, whispers sweet nothings in his ear he cannot help but be seduced and run over to a TV screen. Of course that Iran penalty wasn’t a penalty but on the basis that Portugal were leading slightly in the histrionics stakes that only seems fair. It would though have been greedy to hope that in addition to missing a penalty Ronaldo would have been sent off. The players did nothing to help the ref last night, but as a neutral a bit of the theatrical is all right with me. Mr TLF had other views, him being the owner of Portugal in his work sweepstake. In the end he retreated to the comfort of Channel 5 and Police Interceptors – less crime to witness and less stressful.

Talking of sweets, which I believe I sort of was a moment ago, if Sir Gary of Lineker really needs to vent his saintly, Lesta born spleen at someone then step forward Alan Sugar (we don’t do undeserved titles in this blog that’s how woke we are here at TLF Towers). Last week busy defending every Englishman’s right to tweet lazy racial stereotypes and this week turning his attention to gender without even thinking about it. Yes thanks Mr Sucre, I look forward to being sent your latest gimmick;the £14.99 bag of selected sweets (in letter box sized packaging for easy delivery), by my partner to confirm that as a girlfriend/wife I am still loved even though my man is spending all his time with his nose glued to the World Cup. Should I ever receive such bag I shall be visiting Sugar Mansions to shove them somewhere the VAR never shines.

Sorry to see the back of Morocco and Iran. After the tedium of their opening game they have both played some decent football, Carlos Queiroz is a hoot when he is really angry and the Iranian fans in particular have been brilliant.

Amusing twitter line from last night I must recount.
“I can’t enjoy this Iran-Portugal game on TV. The incessant background whining is really annoying me.”
“What the vuvuzelas?”
“No Mark Lawrenson.”
BOOMBOOM!

Reality and not Suraez may just have bitten for Russia yesterday as the hosts lost 3-0. The round of 16 and a game against a still slightly mis-firing Spain may prove to be a game too far for the hosts I suspect.

What’s that Skippy? (Cue 1970s TV kangaroo sound effects)
The Socceroos still have a chance of qualification?! Bonza mate!
Yes, all they need is to beat Peru 2-0 and hope that Denmark and France don’t play out a naughty and convenient draw and it’ll be amber nectar, cork hats and any other Aussie cliché you care to mention.
See Austria v W. Germany, 1982 World Cup for the best example of ‘co-operation’ between two teams at the group stage.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disgrace_of_Gij%C3%B3n

In Group D, once again one place is up for grabs and Nigeria, Argentina and the well-drilled Iceland, well their coach is a dentist, (BOOMBOOM!) are all in with a shout. The permutations are complex and if you want to know them all, then any fule kno to look in a proper newspaper, not this little Russian ramble. TLF will of course be adopting the ABA stance, no not a three piece version of that Swedish popular beat combo, rather anyone but Argentina. Yes the hand of God might have been in 1986, but it remains imprinted on my memory; I cried all afternoon and had to get an extension for the economics essay, that I had been ‘working on’ while I watched the game.
Maradona handy andies at the ready!
Tsar Fox

National anthem fact fest: Australia
Advance Australia Fair was composed by Scottish born Peter Dodds McCormick and first performed in 1878. It replaced God Save the Queen as the national anthem in 1983.
“Australians all let us rejoice,
For we are young and free;
We’ve golden soil and wealth for toil,
Our home is girt by sea;”

Chant of the day – French and a personal favourite
You’re not singing any more!
Tu ne chantes plus!

Once upon a time in a land far, far away. Well actually not that far away. In the garden Chez TLF lived the lucky chicken. The chicken was a fine creature and always came into its own during significant football tournaments, with the hope of teams, most often France of course and England resting on its beak.

The chicken didn’t have many needs, but a good lick of silver paint was expected when its football influencing powers were called upon. The chicken was therefore feeling pretty miffed by Satday, the competition was just over a week old, it had intervened to ensure that two not entirely convincing French performances had resulted in victoire and yet a can of spray paint had been conspicuous by its absence.

Fortunately for the Lucky Chicken, TLF had decided in honour of the World Cup hosts to make Moscow Mule cocktails. TLF isn’t renowned for being very careful with the cocktail measures and soon enough Mr TLF, who was definitely over the limit for operating a spray can, had done the decent thing and the Lucky Chicken was restored.

So pleased was the Lucky Chicken that it rescued TLF’s cheeky double on Germnay and Mexico, influencing that Kroosial free kick in the 95th minute. Admittedly the Germans were a bit lucky and Sweden should have had a penalty in the 12th minute but neither the Chicken nor TLF care about the injustices of the world when hard cash is at stake. Where they do both draw the line is over the thousands of idiots who seemed to think that racially abusing Jimmy Durmaz, the Swedish player who gave away that free kick, and threatening his family is an acceptable response to footballing disappointment. It isn’t, and so bravo to the response of Durmaz and his team mates – on line if you haven’t seen it.

Obviously TLF and the chicken were gleeful about Ingurland’s cracking result against Panama, but let’s not get carried away. Apart from the fact that TLF missed several goals due to having to disconnect from her radio to engage with members of the public while on duty at the Alban weekend street fair, this is Panama’s first world cup and they have made great progress in developing their national team back home. It was though great to see or indeed hear Ingurland make up a goal difference on Belgium which no one had given them a chance of doing in the morning’s pre-match previews.

The chicken was shaking its head as yet another ex-pro bemoaned his lot – this time Mark Lawrenson complaining about his 6 hour train journey to get to the next match he was paid to summarise on. Let’s compare this with the Peru fans and their inflatable llamas who travelled 32 hours by train from Moscow to Ekaterinburg to watch their team lose to France.

TLF was shaking her head on Friday as Ahmed Musa became the star of the show in Nigeria’s first win of the tournament and LCFC’s twitter feed proudly feted him as Lesta City’s first world cup goal scorer, omitting the fact he has been supremely unsuccessful down at Filbert Way and has been on loan for much of 2018. Clutching at straws the social media team there.

This after TLF had despaired of the time wasting and general mardiness that seemed to dominate the Brazil/Costa Rica game. Their coach Tite, who admittedly did pull a back muscle while celebrating their first goal, seems a likeable, calm man with a dry wit, it is shame that Neymar can’t follow his example.

When I wasn’t watching football, shaking my head in wonder as Mr TLF spray painted the chicken or making cocktails, I was to be found shopping and this takes me back to 1978 again and my first world cup sticker albums. Truly a thing of beauty.

This week sees us finish off the group games. We know six qualifying teams and there are ten to go, with still a chance that we might wave goodbye to a few ‘big teams’. Nice to know for once we can sort of relax about Ingurland. Tonight TLF will be glued to Iran/Portugal hoping for a minor miracle.

The heat is officially on!
Sergei Fox

National anthem fact fest: Egypt
Avoiding Arabic letters as it wouldn’t help, the anthem is called Bliady, Bilady, Bilday. The melody was composed by Sayed Darwish, with lyrics from Muhamma Unis al-Qadi. It was adopted as the unofficial anthem in 1952 and officially in 1979.
“My homeland you have my love, my heart”

Chant of the day – Russian
Here we go, here we go, here we go
Здесь мы идем, здесь мы идем, здесь мы идем

When it comes to football tournament wallcharts, its TTLF I am afraid. That’s not a typo. That extra T stands for totalitarian. These are crucial documents of historical value and poor completion, e.g. different coloured inks, changes of handwriting, mixed capitals or lazy completion will not be tolerated. The items themselves need to be of sturdy quality (vellum is preferred), they have four weeks to survive and cannot afford to be ink sensitive or easily torn. A quill should never be used. There also need to be at least three. One at home, one in my office (for fixture consultation purposes only not to fill in), and one in the communal office.

Just because it is in the communal office does not of course mean that anyone can fill in the scores willy nilly. Fortunately my closest work colleagues respect humour me in this regard and while I was out of the office defended the honour of my wallchart, even advising the President that ‘only the woman with the mad hair’ can go near it.

It is good to sometimes play the benign dictator of course and so there was a small bit of TLF relenting. Jamie, my exec adviser (now known as TLFEA) is now allowed to fill in the office wallchart, providing he follows the rules. His numbers are very neat. He is also taller than me and as you will see from the picture below, for at least the group stages TLF is needing a bit of performance enhancement to ensure no wobbly numbers on the home wallchart.

Sadly no matter how much of a Paddington Bear hard stare we give the wall charts, Peru are on their way home. France continue to be a bit flaky but get the results, which doesn’t bode well for future opponents should they get out of second gear. While Messi looked miserable there was greater misery to be the found on the face of Mr TLF who watched his cheeky double crumble as Argentina produced a largely insipid performance. Am not sure what was worse, the play in the first half or the whining of Radio 5’s Chris Waddle and Jonathan Pearce. Gambling is a mug’s game but I will no doubt be indulging at the weekend if only because I feel a bit guilty at the ahem, wisdom TLF provided to TLFEA for his disastrous treble and need to try and make good.

The Socceroos are still in with a chance of making it through to the last 16, VAR coming to their rescue, which was a bit harsh on Danish striker Yussuf Poulson who has now conceded a VAR penalty in each of his games. Good work Yussuf!

The weekend brings us nine matches and if that wasn’t enough it is also Alban weekend which means enactment of the story of St Alban and a street festival, where TLF will be putting in a shift on our football supporters club stand, before hot pawing it home for the England game. Hopefully without dislocating anything and without blood pressure rising. While patriotism dictates the importance of 1pm on Sunday for me, 4pm and Senegal/Japan is also a TLF must view. Partly as two teams yet to get full attention, partly cos it will annoy Mr TLF but also because I think it might be quite entertaining and I want to witness coach Aliou Cisse’s goal celebration.

Serbia/ Switzerland potentially throws up political sensitivities, especially Shaqiri’s decision to have the Kosovan flag sown into one of his boots. With Serbia not recognising Kosovo that has provoked a little bit of social media FUSS. Often though pre-match controversy leads to nothing on the pitch. We shall see.

Of course even when there are such important matters to attend to it is important to remember your loved ones. So I am taking Mr TLF our for lunch. He is confused about the timing of our booking, but if he paid a bit more attention to the wall chart, all would become clear.

99.6% of TV viewers in Iceland watched their opening game. If you too want to be just another viewing statistic then put a reservation sign on your sofa, make a house arrest on the remote control, chill a suitable supply of beverages and have your wallchart pen at the ready.
And if it’s not your wall chart…leeeeeeeave it!

Comrade Foxski

Dish of the day: Switzerland?
Melted cheese? Don’t mind if I (fon)do
https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/1880633/authentic-swiss-cheese-fondue
Chant of the day: Icelandic
Who are ya?
Hver ert þú?

The TLF football shirt collection representation was looking a bit thin at this year’s World Cup. With Italy and Holland failing to qualify some of my favourite shirts were skulking in the far recesses of the football shirt drawer. I know; the surprise is that there is only one drawer, but that’s cos the Lesta collection has its own item of furniture. Anyway this shirt shortage seemed the perfect excuse to invest in a new garment. And what could be more enticing than a replica of the icnonic 1978 Peru shirt. Make it so the Old Fashioned Football Company.

That does however cause a minor sartorial elegance dilemma today with the two teams meeting each other. Is it to be this?

Or is it to be this?

Well it’s probably neither until I get home to watch the highlights.

Paws crossed for a Peruvian win. That kit comes from the first World Cup TLF can properly remember, we did a school project with Mrs Stephens, the only home nation to have qualified were Scotland and we had three Scottish kids at my junior school who were minor celebs until Scotland exited. Halcyon, happy days and at that age you didn’t realise that the country hosting the competition was a bit of a dictatorship with a dubious human rights record. That would never happen now would it?!

Where was I? Oh yes darkest Peru. Los Incas haven’t qualified for a world cup since then and their shirts and the 45,000 (forty five thousand) fans who have made it to Russia really deserve it. Meanwhile can Argentina not Mess(i) up against a decent looking Croatia side?

Yesterday didn’t prove to be the goalfest TLF suspected and fair play and my apologies to both Morocco and Iran for writing them off. Iran’s fans didn’t let up for the whole game although am not sure their wholesale purchase of vuvuzelas has gone down that well with the swathes of grumpy media types. Surprisingly I am starting to get a bit fond of Radio five’s Chris Sutton. He likes an underdog, a bit of no nonsense solid defending and could start a fight in a phone box. Last night he was asked by Mark Chapman if he could see Iran causing Portugal problems.
His response was a very stroppy, ‘Why don’t you??’
“I was asking a question not looking for a fight”, replied a weary Chapman.

Equally entertaining was watching Roy Keane and Slaven Bilic do their very impassive faces as Ian Wright mangled the English language during his pre-match thoughts. But even that is better than Robbie Savage in the shower. METAPHORICALLY obviously. TLF’s post gym routine has been ruined by the 8.30am radio five show presented by the welsh afghan hound. It is a 30 minute celebration of ignorance and all things shouty; even interesting guests cannot drag it to the quality level playing field. And there goes TLF getting in touch with her inner Chris Sutton.

Back to Iran before that brief media ramble or perhaps rant. Yesterday was for many Iranian female football fans the first time they have been able to go and watch their team. They are not allowed back home because they can’t be in the company of men. Next time I am moaning about the train journey to watch Lesta I’ll remind myself that at least I have a choice. And while I am on a minor equality riff congrats to Vicki Sparks, the first woman to commentate on a live World Cup match on British television.

Finally a massive thumbs up to CH&Co who run our catering at work. The canteen gave us a ‘World Cup Wednesday’ lunch and Polish goodness was enjoyed by all. And yes I know Poland weren’t playing on Wednesday. And yes of course I have suggested they choose recipes from one of the eight teams playing next Wednesday (am sure they were very grateful for my feedback). Oh yes, it all gets a bit serious next week with final games in each group played at the same time. I think this is for reasons of fairness rather than to maximise culinary options.

Happy Thursday and make mine a marmalade sandwich.
Yuri Fox

Dish of the day: Croatia
When all is going wrong on the pitch…keep your peka up!
A Lesson in Cooking Peka, the Signature Dish of Croatia’s Dalmatia Region
Chant of the day: Danish
Who ate all the pies?
Hvem spiste alle de tærter?

Couldn’t really ask for more could I? TLF requests a Columbian sending off and within three minutes of their game kicking off my wish was their command. Carlos Sanchez you will be forever in TLF’s heart.

It wasn’t the best day for football watching; not only was the work thing having the temerity to get in the way but there were evening social engagements to attend; they did involve free booze and canapes and I guess sometimes TLF has just got to step up and take one for the team.

Remember that rubbish Russia team everyone was talking about? Still looking pants aren’t they….. The best performance in the opening round by a World Cup host nation ever and comfortably through to the next round thank you very much. I imagine Mr Putin is chuckling to himself in a bare-chested, getting one over the west kind of a way.

FACT alert! Japan’s win means they became the first ever Asian team to beat a South American team at a World Cup. More importantly their fans did their usual post-match routine of tidying up after themselves and when they explained to bemused Columbian fans what they were doing, they joined in too.

While we love an upset here at TLF Towers, we don’t have much hope for today. Diego Costa raging against Iran’s defence feels like something that just wouldn’t be allowed under the Marquis of Queensbury Rules never mind the Laws of Association Football. Morocco will be a different challenge for Ronaldo…sorry I mean Portugal but surely not a tough one. And I doubt very much whether Saudi Arabia’s Italian coach will be able to put one over Uruguay. But if he does we will embrace him for Pizzi-ng off the slightly out of form pantomime villain Luis Suarez.

Poka! (that’s goodbye in Russian but without the weird letters)
TLF the Terrible

Dish of the day: Iran
Honest and tasty apparently. Just how I like my football

Beef and Green Bean Rice (Loobia Polo)

Chant of the day: Portuguese
You only sing when you’re winning
Você só canta quando está ganhando

Being a slightly, ok very, superstitious TLF I am a great believer in never jinxing your team. Say your striker is having a blinder and he’ll miss an open goal, say your centre half is immense and next minute he’ll trip over the ball, giving the opposition a clear route to goal and because their striker is having a blinder you will concede. So the minute the BBC commentator said, “So far Ingurland have played the best football of the tournament,” I knew it was probably the kiss of death. Mind you that would have been quite apt seeing as Martin Keown had provided us with the medical insight that, “Dele Ali is alive isn’t he?’ Sorry Martin I hadn’t realised that Southgate had been contemplating a member of the undead to bring a bit of creativity to the midfield.
Still it would be churlish not to breathe a huge sigh of relief at last night’s result and acknowledge that for once an Ingurland team showed some resilience and didn’t resort to punting long balls forward all the time. There were certainly no flies on Harry Kane…apart from the Volgograd midges. It looked like a holiday in the Scottish highlands (two days, two mentions….). And while I know some might prefer the impassive managerial response to a goal I liked Gareth Southgate even more for his very exuberant celebration at the winner.

Southgate dare I say it, comes across like a man who might have a plan (jinxed but it is for a segue so it doesn’t count). Unlike TLF who had been spoilt with a weekend of largely uninterrupted football viewing and forgotten about planning the delicate art of managing fixtures around that four letter word; work. By the sounds of it missing Sweden/South Korea wasn’t something to get too upset about but it was a school cub error to have no means of listening to the second half of Belgium/Panama on the train home due to a flat phone battery. TLF burst into TLF Towers at 6pm asking for an update to which Mr TLF raised an eyebrow as if to say, “And you actually think that’s a question worth asking me?” He has a point.

Still nice to be home from work early, although 24 hours earlier I had missed the open goal opportunity to suggest I wanted to spend quality time with him when in response to the question, why are you leaving work bang on 5? My reply went, “Because it’s the ingurland game and I want to get in the pre-match….to spend more time with you darling.”

An epic failure in the brownie points winning stakes, unlike Belgium who after a frustrating first half beat Paraguay convincingly, although there still remain question marks, accordingly to the supremely grumpy but very likeable Barry Glendenning on the Guardian podcast, as to whether all is happy dans Camp Belgique.

Today sees the final Group get up and running and while it might not have any star nations in it, don’t let that put you off. Probably the most open group there is, with four teams from four different continents and Lesta’s irrepressible Shinzi Okazaki upfront for Japan. Importantly Columbia are TLF’s sweepstake team and while they have some gifted players I can’t see them winning the whole shebang and so am crossing fingers for a red card so I win the monies associated with first red card of the tournament.
And the second games start in Group A with Russia looking to Dzyuba their points tally today and qualify for the knock out stages which would certainly shut up their domestic critics; nothing like being said to be the worst team to ever come out of your nation to motivate you I guess. But perhaps Mo Salah will have something to say about that, if as expected he gets to start for Egypt.

Let’s get ready to rouble!

Gorbachov Fox

Dish of the day: Poland
Apparently these bad boys are usually served on Fat Tuesday; one last blow out before Lent starts. Well it’s the World Cup…treat yourselves
https://www.thespruceeats.com/polish-paczki-doughnuts-recipe-1136411

Chant of the day: Russian
You’re not singing anymore
Вы не поете больше

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