When composing yesterday’s little ramble I did contemplate sharing with you my very overly optimistic hope that Greece would still manage to qualify, but I didn’t because I really didn’t think that little miracle would happen. I should clearly have more faith in my soothsaying abilities. I’m therefore going to keep very silent about who I would like to see squeak through to the second round today in the hope that this non-mentioning will become a lucky omen…I do this sometimes; the odd bit of clutching at straws.

WHAT IS IT WITH BIG SCREENS? Your team is on the precipice of World Cup exit, it’s going to be another four years before you maybe get this chance again. You’ve got that sick feeling in the out of your stomach..And then, ooh look, your fizzog is on the screen in the stadium. Cue much excitement, stupid grin and waving to the wrong camera. “Sod the result I’ve just been on a big screen.” Well woop-de-effing-do. In what way does that make up for impending defeat/misery??? It’s not a Brasil 2014 phenomena, I’ve seen it on SKY et al for years. If TLF is ever caught committing this foul act while witnessing some football related misery (and I have a feeling there might be quite a lot of that in the coming season) then confiscate my Stella, give Mr TLF control of the remote control and make bacon fries a banned class A substance. It is all I will deserve.

Sorry I know this blog is generally a small and rambling, welcoming port of daily jollity in the shipping lanes of the World Cup, but that screen thing does wind me up. I think I’m also a bit grumpy as I struggle to adjust to the match timings; just not acclimatising to the new regime. That two hour wait between games is messing with my wee heid and can lead to me getting stuck with post match phone-ins…of which more later.

It did occur to me yesterday that I haven’t watched anything other than football since the World Cup started. I mentioned it to Mr TLF whose reply was a rather plaintive, “Yes, I had noticed.” Not so much what he said but how he said it. Possibly he meant something like this from The Guardian TV reviewer, who opened one review with:

“Oh so what treats have they lined up for us non fans of sodding, bastardising, endless, boring football while the rest of the world obsesses about however many men it is kicking a ball around for however long it is and however many times it is before one lot merges the winner and we can all stop caring or pretending to?”

Obvs I don’t share the sentiment but it’s great writing.

Talking of great writing (tongue in cheek segue there) I wasn’t really expecting yesterday’s reference to Dracula the ref, to inspire the lovely Luis in the way that it did. Still it gave people something else to about other than England’s early exit as an outpouring of frothy outrage and indignation poured forth from Moral High Ground Mountain. On these occasions I’m always placing mental bets as to how long before we get the, ‘there’s kids watching this. What a bad example to set.’ Sure enough the strangely attired Glenn Hoddle didn’t disappoint and was there early doors with that little bon mots. I’m not disputing the sentiment, rather that it is a hackneyed tedious angle to drag out for the umpteenth time.

The post match ITV analysis sent me scurrying to the radio where sadly my punishment continued with a 6-0-6, that including ranting from fans and ex-players. JOY. There must be an app that can generate your own random phone-in rant. Just whack in a few things about
“too many foreigners, grassroots football, the way kids are coached , that foreign teams are years ahead of us, players don’t care, they earn too much, too much passion/too little passion, players are too shackled/players are too naïve,more England players should go and play abroad, our players aren’t technical enough, the people at the top are wrong. We need to employ Hoddle/Martinez/Klinnsman/Waddle/Guardiola/insert preferred name.”
The Random Rant-App…coming to a phone near you soon.

And on that grumpy note may your Day 14 be full of delights and if you get hungry, then please note that shoulder of Cellini is off the menu.
Le Grumpy Fox

TODAY’S GAMES
5pm
Bosnia v Iran, Grp F
Nigeria v Argentina, Grp F
9pm
Ecuador v France, Grp E
Honduras v Switzerland, Grp E
RESULTS
Costa Rica 0 England 0
Italy 0 Uruguay 1
Japan 1 Columbia 4
Greece 2 Ivory Coast 1
Phrase of the day – PortugeseJust like a library
Apenas como uma biblioteca

Dish of the day – Time for some desert from Francehttp://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/4778/pear-tarte-tatin
Site of the day – Brick by brick goal match highlights..I think they mean lego. They just don’t do product placement.
http://www.theguardian.com/sport/series/brick-by-brick

I tell you what. Adopted teams. That’s the way forward. Patriotism smatriotism as my colleague Lori put it (she has financial interests as well with the oranje being her sweepstake team). Holland have rewarded my ongoing second team syndrome with 9 points. Hup Hup! There was a bit of knee high hopping (or indeed hupping) round the 113 bar as that first goal went in. I hope that my lack of formality did not offend…or will indeed affect my employment.

In the interests of international relations I proffered up my IPad to ensure that we could do some split screen viewing so that my Aussie colleagues could watch their team…er…lose to Spain, who had taken to wearing funereal black, presumably to mark their early exit from the competition. Attention span was a bit variable, with a very muted, “Boo” from Dean when the Aussies conceded a third. Amy by then seemed to have switched off completely but she claimed that this was allowed as she had been enthusiastic at the start…bit like me and England really.

The second qualifying decider in Group D, Italy v Uruguay is a dead cert for viewing in Chez TLF. Will Italy play Immobile or will they be immobile and take a leaf out of England’s tactics book when trying to defend against Suarez? I’m looking forward to seeing the ref for this one, who is known in his home country of Mexico as Chiqui Dracula. Pop some garlic in your pocket Mr Prandelli.

I tried begging with England last time and it failed dismally so this time I am going to be assertive. PLAY PROPERLY OR ELSE. There, I’m sure that will work. I’d like it to, if only because the post mortem gloom is getting more and more tedious.

Brazil put four past Cameroon, which wasn’t a great surprise. They still don’t seem to be firing on all cylinders and now have to face Chile…who in an interview last December, Big Phil Scolari identified as the team he wanted to face least. Hopefully that was the right Big Phil of course, unlike the fake that conned the Brazilian newspaper Folho into printing an interview with him…30,000 newspapers duly pulped once the con was spotted.

Delighted to see Mexico go through. Not just because I like the way they play, but because coach Herrera knows how to celebrate a victory. Although I do fear for some of his players’ ribs when they find themselves engulfed in a Herrera hug.

Another two groups finish today then…apart from football there is some serious wallchart activity to undertake. My bestest pen is ready….
Izgubio lisica

YESTERDAY’S RESULTS
Australia 0 Spain 3
Netherlands 2 Chile 0
Croatia 1 Mexico 3
Cameroon 1 Brazil 4

TODAY’S GAMES
5pm
Costa Rica v England, Grp D
Italy v Uruguay, Grp D
9pm
Japan v Columbia, Grp C
Greece v Ivory Coast, Grp C
Phrase of the day – Italian
Chi ha maniato tutte le torte?
Who ate all the pies?

Dish of the day – Ivory Coast stew
http://www.whats4eats.com/poultry/kedjenou-recipe

Site of the day – If you have a hankering for a bit of World Cup nostalgia, particularly for Italia 90 then this is worth a read.
andyevanswordsmith.com/2014/06/18/1990-world-cup

OHOH. We’re halfway there. OHOH living on Braaaasil 2014”, as Jon Bon Jovi didn’t say. Yep 32 games gone and 32 to go.

Kind of a relief once we got that Costa Rica result out of the way wasn’t it? We could bin our very briefly adopted Italian nationality (far too classy and chic to sit well on English shoulders) and stop clutching at straws slightly thinner than a fag paper. And as a fan in the Guardian said, “it’s sort of more exciting when England are out and you can just relax and watch the game.”

Having seen my daily football intake reduced to a miserable 10 minutes on Friday, football was going be the only winner on Saturday. The garden did get some cursory attention with me looking to snuff out the attacking threat of dandelions; score draw methinks. The new irritant in the garden department is a plague of jackdaws who are currently bossing the pitch. They are the Suarez of the domestic green space; supremely talented, skilful, sneaky and ANNOYING. I have no evidence of biting or racial abuse of the local robins but it wouldn’t surprise me.

Expectations were low when I sat down for the 5pm Saturday kick off, particularly as Mr TLF didn’t seem that keen on offering table service in the delivery of beer and snacks department. As it turned out Iran were more of a challenge for Argentina than expected. And it wasn’t just about them parking the bus. Mr TLF kept in touch with that game by listening to my strangled yelps and eeks from the living room as Iran had the best of the second half and gave Argentina a bit of a scare.

He deigned to join me for the GeeGee game. Great stuff. Although you are probably labouring under the illusion that Ghana drew with Germany aren’t you? Oh no. Let me tell you the game finished Ghana 10 Germany 4. Well at least it did on this pitch. TLF coming into form just at the right time.

The scene of Mr TLF’s hefty defeat

My other triumph of the weekend came in the shape of a Google search – look – second. Thus proving that luck and use of random words can enhance your search engine optimisation.

Never thought I would be grateful to Mr Savage

One thing we also learnt this weekend is never judge the likely quality of a game by its participants, which is a frequent pundit crime. After the SnoozeFest of the Belgium game, I’m glad to say that World Cup joy and goal excess equilibrium was restored with Algeria and South Korea, which became something of a StatFest. Algeria being the first African team to score 4 goals in a World Cup match and in 90 minutes undid much of the damage done by that tedious draw in 2010 with England (nice to see at least one of those two teams have applied some lessons learned).

This week our final 16 will be revealed. Even though football is a funny old game I don’t think it is funny enough to see Brazil get anything other than a win against Cameroon (the irony of Cameroon players threatening to strike over the size of their win bonuses is I hope not lost on anyone). That will leave Mexico and Croatia to fight it out for second place in Group A.

Group B comes down to the game between Holland and Chile which will decide who goes through as winners. Could be a corker, as both teams have impressed. I do hope that Chile have spent sometime considered tactics in the pants department, after last weeks colour gaffe. Happily this game coincides with the arrival of Stella on draft in the 113 bar and a sizeable staff summer discount. Who needs a FIFA fan park when we can move seamlessly from office to big screen and beer without even encountering the outside world?

My new Holland shirt might be getting a second airing, hopefully a slightly comfier one this time round, having removed the five…Yep FIVE labels therein. I wonder if the Dutch squad have employed a label-remover or have given each squad member a pair of official national nail scissors to deal with the issue.
I’ll be the one in orange in the bar (my shirt not fake tan)
失われたキツネ

FRIDAY AND WEEKEND RESULTS
Italy 0 Costa Rica 1
Switzerland 2 France 5
Honduras 1 Ecuador 2
Argentina 1 Iran 0
Germany 2 Ghana 2
Nigeria 1 Bosnia 0
Belgium 1 Russia 0
South Korea 2 Algeria 4
USA 2 Portugal 2

TODAY’S GAMES
Oooh group games now take place at the same time to avoid dodgy shenanigans….(see Austria v West Germany, 1982)
5pm
Australia v Spain, Grp B
Netherlands v Chile, Grp B
9pm
Croatia v Mexico, Grp A
Cameroon v Brazil (Ooops auto correct just tried to make it Cameron v Brazil….), Grp A

Phrase of the day – Spanish
La senora gorda ha cantado
The fat lady has sung

Dish of the day – From Holland we have Bitterballen. Ideal snack to accompany a few beers. NOT a description of the mental state of the England camp.
http://www.holland.com/us/tourism/interests/food-drinks/dutch-recipes/bitterballen.htm

Site of the day – the football attic.
Quality nostalgia and this particular blog is Panini related (sticky ones not toasted ones)
thefootballattic.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/paninis-world-cup-nearly-men.html

So. Get up to anything interesting last night? Nah. Me neither. Quiet one.

I did have good fun with the Columbia game, moving seamlessly in a perfectly timed fashion (unlike England’s midfield) from a signal-less void on the train just in time to hear their corking second goal. Gervinhio managed to pull one back for Ivory Coast and that too was top dollar.

Talking of timing. I have done it again (the segue as well as the clock thing). Dinner with friends in a fancy restaurant at 7.30pm. When will I learn? Still I thought I could give my new Honduras shirt an airing….It’s quite smart and I am sure will fit in with the general ambiance. It’s white, so I will not be taking a leaf out of the Chile sartorial elegance handbook and deploying any form of blue undergarment.

I do remain a little confused about the concept of atmosphere. Wednesday the commentators hoped we could hear the atmosphere and yesterday they were talking about how it looked. Is either possible? Especially when the former was said on TV and the latter radio. Sorry probably being too fussy. Because for some reason I’m in a bad mood.

I’ll be honest. Forget some Waddle-esque rant (always nice from the man who ballooned a penalty over the crossbar in a World Cup Semi-Final). I think our problem is not the number of foreigners in the Prem. It’s our anthem. We go straight into the lyrics. Uruguay, “dangerous over achievers from a country the size of greater London”, (copyright Clive Tyldsley), have this rousing orchestral tootle before any words. To the point in fact, where I thought everyone had forgotten to sing. We need a nice long booming intro. Probably wouldn’t make us world beaters but might be more rousing.

It is quite frightening how quickly the gaps in the wall chart are filling up. By the end of the weekend we will be gearing up for the final group games – time flies when you’re having a (foot)ball. With some of the games the only thing that will be at stake will be a bit of pride (e.g. Spain) for others there will be a bit more of an imperative. But before we get there nine more games to negotiate. Including Algeria’s second match whose coach, according to the Grauniad guide, once shot himself in the bottom. No clues as to why or indeed how. One to ponder.

Despairing slightly of Mr TLF today, as he blots his copybook after yesterday’s excellent blog contribution with the question, “So teams have to stay for the last group game even if they can’t qualify?” My work here is clearly far from done.

I’m tempted to get next week off to a really bad start by staying up for the USA v Portugal game late on Sunday night….in the hope of an upset…which would tend to lead to a complete non-upset. In between the games I will be involved in my own high pressure tournament, TLF v the Dandelions, which is being played over numerous legs. Currently I have the edge, having deployed a sharp front two (of the pronged variety), but I do seem to be outnumbered all over the park (lawn) so I’m looking to manage expectations.

Whatever your weekend plans; I hope you enjoy. I can guarantee you’ll have a better time than the residents of Rio’s Royal Tulip Hotel.

They think it’s all over..it probably will be soon. But thanks to Roy Hodgson for looking as miserable as the rest of us.
La volpe ha perso (as they say on the dolce vita…which ain’t where I am right now)

Phrase of the day – Spanish
Usted no esta cuntando ya
You’re not singing anymore

An occasional feature – tweet of the day comes from David Clarke, St Albans fan and captain of the 2012 team GB Paralympic blind football team @ClarkieGB7:
“Now we must listen to ex footballers who failed at WCs tell us what #Eng should’ve done to stop themselves failing at WC” Bang on.

Website of the day…well link and audio clip. Anyone who knows me, knows I’m not the biggest fan of the ankle-biters. But even I am entranced by the R5Live Young Pundits – endearing and just as coherent as our professional pundits (I might be doing the kids a disservice there) This will take you to yesterday’s but if you scroll through the R5 ‘In shorts’ you’ll find more. http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0217lhp

Receipe of the day – Honduras. Not meaty…unlike their tackles
http://thisishonduras.com/Honduran-Food-Recipies.html#baleadas

YESTERDAY’S RESULTS
Columbia 2 Ivory Coast 1
Uruguay 2 England 1
Japan 0 Greece 0

TODAY’S GAMES
5pm Italy v Costa Rica, Grp D
8pm Switzerland v France, Grp E
11pm Honduras v Ecuador, Grp E

WEEKEND FIXTURES
Saturday
5pm Argentina v Iran, Grp F
8pm Germany v Ghana, Grp G
11pm Nigeria v Bosnia, Grp F
Sunday
5pm Belgium v Russia, Grp H
8pm South Korea v Algeria, Grp H
11pm USA v Portugal, Grp G

Well there I am misery-ing on about there being no upsets and then WALLOP.
The curse of Champions as Spain lost to Chile. Yet again their keeper, know as St Iker (possibly not any more) did nothing for the cause. Although after a staggering 843 appearances for his country I don’t think people should be too rude about him. Tired? Too much loyalty to squad members who should have been replaced? Whatever the reason for Spain’s underperforming let’s remember that Chile were VERY good. I’d like to see them do well as they are great to watch. I’d also like to see them stopping wear blue pants under white shorts.

The result was a gift for headline writers and in the end I went with Mr TLF’s suggestion, although I do like to tip my hat to Liza Doolittle with a bit of ‘Chile rain on Spain’s plain.’

I thought the ref; Mr Geiger had a good game too. You can always count on him (BOOMBOOM!)

For awhile there I thought my new Holland shirt would become christened TLF Shirt of Doom. It certainly put me off wearing my England shirt today. In the end the Aussies were made depay (BOOM) by the substitute’s long range shot. What a game…to listen to on the radio and then follow on your phone…still the phone bit did mean escaping Mr Savage.

Yes Tim Cahill’s goal was immense but to spend five minutes telling us that WAS the goal of the tournament was short-sighted and a bit tedious. All it takes, you poor excuse for a human Afghan hound, is for someone to score the same style of goal from a few yards further out and that could become the goal of the tournament. Any of us could sit on our settee and say that..but I think you get paid for a greater degree of insight. Yeah. OK. I’ll let this one go…well just one more thing. It’s Robben, not Robin (as in Christopher).

If I can beg your indulgence it is kind of do or die for England today. With or without them I will still be glued to all things World Cup, but it does provide extra interest and I can’t help but like Roy Hodgson. Although that shot of his moobs in the background of the film showing the England masseur get his birthday ice bath from the players was a bit unnerving. Also there is just a bit of personality and exuberance surfacing in the squad. Daniel Sturridge provides a certain joie de vivre, whether it’s joining in with a session of capoeira on a team visit to a favela or complaining (with tongue firmly in cheek) about Gary Lewin diverting attention from Sturridge’s first World Cup goal by dislocating his ankle.

I know that some readers may think that the mighty Saints reference yesterday was a bit non-global…well looky here….

A corner of the samba nation that will thanks to Mark, be forever St Albans. I could at this point mention Leicester’s opening fixtures that involve Everton, Chelsea and Arsenal, but that would just make me break out into a cold sweat.

Apart from England, it is Greece’s second match late tonight, although sadly I think it could shortly be time for one member of my international shirt collection to make the long walk of shame back to the wardrobe.

Your usual phrase of the day is today replaced by shameless and patriotic plea of the day – English. Normal service will resume tomorrow:

Dear England
Please don’t eff it up. I know that our expectations were lower than a low thing on a very low day singing, “I’m so bloody low”, but that doesn’t mean we wouldn’t quite like to see you make it out of the group stages. And if it must end in defeat then make it glorious not ignominious. Fight them on the beaches and fight them on the pitches (metaphorically obviously).

Churchill TLF

YESTERDAY’S RESULTS
Australia 2 Netherlands 3
Spain 2 Chile 0
Cameroon 0 Croatia 4

TODAY’S GAMES
5pm Columbia v Ivory Coast, Grp C
8pm Uruguay v England, Grp D
11pm Japan v Greece, Grp C

Dish of the day – A hopefully lucky Yorkshire pudding
http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/9020/best-yorkshire-puddings

Website of the day – set of 5 second films illustrating iconic World Cup moments. Love it. http://f-i-v-e-s.co.uk/

Into every World Cup a little metaphorical rain must fall, and yesterday it arrived in the form of Nigeria v Iran. Our first draw of the tournament and it wasn’t a pretty sight.

I did start the game with high hopes. The omens were good. The BBC seemed to be an Alan Shearer free zone and Iran’s coach Carlos Querioz bought a certain understated chic to the dugout with his black jacket and casually draped scarf combo. But with the exception of that, some concerns about Iran’s goalie having a short sleeved shirt…that’s just wrong for keepers and Phil Neville’s bon mot, “this is a boy who catches pigeons, “, there was not a lot to write home about. Well even if there was, I wouldn’t would I? Cos I was at home.

A shame really as of course the 8pm game is the one most likely to see me in front of the TV. Yes I know there are zillion ways to ‘catch up’ but there are still only 24 hours in the day and some of them are taking up by the ridiculously inconvenient ‘work’ thingy. Still things could be worse. I could be Ronaldo. No amount of man bags and hair care products can help when you are down to 10 men and playing the ‘ruthlessly efficient Germans.”

Oh yes. The stereotyping, be it conscious or unconscious was in full flight on Radio 5 Live’s commentary last night. Post match analysis contained at least 3 efficients and I shall be setting up a monitoring scheme for the rest of the tournament. When we weren’t stereotyping there was some good old lather going on. I know it was a harsh sending off, but Tony Pulis, when you said, “If you’re a Portugal fan you’ve paid a lot of money to come and watch this and I know people will say rules are rules but I think the refs got to try and keep 11 men on the pitch.” Did you really mean it? Because last time I looked the ref’s role was to police the rules of the game, not ensure VFM for travelling fans. But bless your heart you are not Andy Townsend so you can stay.

Rubbing salt into the IranvNigeria wound was the news that the late night game had produced the fifth fastest goal in World Cup history and a late winner by a bloke called Brooks (not the best spelling of the name I have ever seen admittedly).

Today the final four teams enter the World Cup stage left, with Belgium, everyone’s outside bet getting things going with the early kick off. I am looking forward to Brazil v Mexico. Will the hosts own this ref too?

De verloren vos

MONDAY RESULTS
Germany 4 Portugal 0
Iran 0 Nigeria 0
Ghana 1 USA 2

TODAY’S GAMES
5pm Belgium v Algeria, Grp H
8pm Brazil v Mexico, Grp A
11pm Russia v South Korea, Grp H

Phrase of the day – Russian
Don’t blame me. I didn’t vote for Qatar
Не вините меня. Я не голосовал за Катар

Website of the day – Purely in the interests of open debate and keeping readers informed I did track down the online pictures of the Croatia players enjoying some nude swimming. To be honest only a handful (BOOM!) were naked. Still in the interests of propriety the link has been pixellated out of this report.
And if you think that is selling you short then check out google today – best one so far methinks.

Dish of the day
A first appearance for the gluten free squad. Brazilian cheesey balls. This dish was in no way inspired by website of the day.
http://allrecipes.co.uk/recipe/23603/p-o-de-queijo.aspx?o_is=LV

See that little cloud of dust over your computer? That’s TLF’s theory about opening World Cup weekends not always being entertainment fests going up in smoke. And yes. I did inhale.

The signs were there for a good weekend, with an early Friday TLF triumph as it became clear that the BBC Iplayer radio and First Capital Connect are a happy combination with the Mexico commentary only being lost for a couple of minutes. Sadly the reception always seemed to be spot when ever Robbie Savage was speaking. As he and his co-commentator deconstructed yet another poor decision in the Mexico game, Savage bemoaned, “ We don’t want to be talking about the officials all the time.” Well do you know what Robbie? YOU DON’T HAVE TO. Yes he made a mistake, like countless refs before him. Comment and MOVE ON. Oh…yes you are; to BT Sport for next season. Can’t come soon enough.

Fortunately that minor aberration did nothing to spoil the overall game, and nor did the ref (see he’s got me at it now) as Mexico finally scored a goal that wasn’t ruled offside. Which was celebrated by yours truly with a small jig of delight in M&S…I think I got away with it.

The Dutch performance, you wont be surprised to learn did take the jigging (steady) up a notch so that it became big, major, bouncing around the house while yelling at Mr TLF, “Oh my God. Come and see this goal. It’s amazing.” Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was the fact that he has got Holland in the sweepstake, but even the man who retains a sense of perspective during this fiesta of football was grinning at those Robben goals. He certainly seemed more cheerful than the Dutch player whose boot bore the brunt of the free kick spray paint. The look he gave the ref would have suggested a slightly greater and maybe even match affecting crime….uh-oh I’m coming over all Savage again.

While there are negatives to the very late night nature of some games, it does mean that you have the day to spend with loved ones. Particularly those who you had, several weeks ago promised that our first free weekend, after so many when I had been busy (it’s always my fault) would totally be spent with and focussed on them….without checking your diary. OOPS. So it was an early charm offensive with a nice late lunch at Lussmans, a favourite St Albans restaurant. Sadly for Mr TLF it didn’t prove to be the football free sanctuary he might have expected, as I embarked on a long assessment of the various teams with our waiter. He is from Kosovo and was supporting England but also keeping an eye out for Switzerland who have a handful of his countrymen in the their team. As he put it with a certain degree of understatement, “you know these guys ended up there because of difficult times back home.” His enthusiasm meant that I watched the Switzerland game with a bit more interest on Sunday and was rewarded with some perfect swiss timing.

As predictable as that pun, was England’s ultimate, but honourable failure against Italy. Tres leoes were more bonito than they had been a in long time and fair play to Hodgson for the team he selected (Rooney debate aside). Sadly we just weren’t quite bonito enough.

France spent Sunday at the school of Honduran hard knocks. I can admire a bit of robustness in football but the stamping-hacking-and-overacting was not what I wanted to see from my latest adopted team…Too late to abandon them now as I have furnished myself with the away shirt. The real talking point of course from that game was Jonathan Pearce’s reaction. Or should I say over-reaction to the management of the goal-line technology. The man was a gibbering wreck. Perhaps he had a hefty bet on being the man on the spot when the technology failed. Perhaps he is not paid a salary but by the number of times he says, “if in doubt the referee can’t give it.” Or perhaps Martin Keown was serving up some serious cocktails. Either way, the one thing not in doubt today Jonathan is that you looked like a complete tool.

As it was a skool night the Argentina game was not an option. By the sounds of things, it was a bit of a slow start for them (the weight of expectation when you are TLF’s tip for the tournament should never be under-estimated) and I can’t quite work out from the various newspaper and radio reports whether Messi was brilliant or pants…

One player certainly does not make a team and it will be interesting to see today how the team with the world’s best player does against the best tournament team (copyright Radio 5 Live). Mind you it could be the Iranian’s incredible shrinking kit that takes all the headlines. I expect plenty of tight marking, with Querioz’s team aiming to put the squeeze on Nigeria (Don’t worry folks, I’m here all month).

Keep your eyes peeled for the rare and lesser-spotted football result, “the draw” and enjoy.

Der Verlorene Fuchs (as the Germans would describe me)

FRIDAY AND WEEKEND RESULTS
Mexico 1 Cameroon 0
Spain 1 Holland 5
Chile 3 Australia 1
Colombia 3 Greece 0
Uruguay 1 Costa Rica 3
Italy 2 England 1
Ivory Coast 2 Japan 1
Switzerland 2 Ecuador 1
France 3 Honduras 0
Argentina 2 Bosnia 1

…phew and the players think they are tired…..

TODAY’S GAMES
5pm Germany v Portugal, Grp G
8pm Iran by Nigeria, Grp F
11pm Ghana v USA, Grp G

Phrase of the day – SpanishHe tenido mejores viernes
I’ve had better Fridays

Website of the day – You might have noticed the England player pictures that are being shown during the BBC’s coverage.. Drawn by Steve Walsh, who has a great website called miniboro.com they are on display at the national football museum.
www.nationalfootballmuseum.com/whats-on/event/2014/englands-world-cup-2014-portraits/12-06-14

Dish of the day – Some heart warming Iranian soup. Soup-er (BOOMBOOM)
http://www.iranchamber.com/recipes/soup/aashe_aab_limoo.php

“Yeah. Often a bit cagey.” Well that’s what I told Mr TLF last night as I gave him his pre-match briefing about the opening game. Croatia and Brazil of course were not listening to me (to be fair Mr TLF probably wasn’t either) and provided the ideal tonic to some opening ceremony tedium and the depressing realities of general FIFA-ness and a day where the smoke might come from celebratory fireworks or tear gas.

Brazil’s brilliant belting out of the national anthem (a jaunty affair at the best of times) was not quite matched by a pitch perfect (see what I did there?) 90 minutes from Big Phil’s team but you can’t argue with a 3-1 win….Although I think Croatia might want a small argument-ette with the ref and certainly drew the equivalent of a big red arrow down Brazil’s flanks with a sign that said, “Opponent’s attackers welcome here.” Important thing is we’re officially up and running, we had gratuitous use of goal-line technology and I predictably established that I don’t like ITV’s studio, credits music or even the font on their scoreline caption…A fussy Fox indeed.

And so to the weekend where the Brazilian equivalent of a Smorgasbord of football awaits. A Sambasbord perhaps? Any World Cup veteran will know ten group games does not guarantee 10 x 90 mins (plus time for stoppages) of high tempo and exciting football. Particularly in this heat. And can I stop you there boys. YES we know it’s hot and humid. We get it. It has been done to death before the tournament even started. In fact you could say there was a bit of a pre tournament warm-up. (BOOMBOOM)

I do have a bit of a hankering for unfashionable and unlikely to succeed Honduras. No real logic to it (that will not come as a surprise to regular readers) – there is no Honduran bloodline going back through the Fox ages…Nor was I lucky (!) enough to win them in an office sweepstake. No, it’s their shirts. So easy to replicate. One blue T-shirt, a bottle of tippex to paint you a big capital H where normally a fancy badge might go and jobs a good un.

At least no one can accuse me of being a glory hunter. At least not for that game. Tonight I shall be festooned in orange and hoping that even if Holland can’t get 3 points against Spain they do at least remember this time around that they are playing football not the sport of tag-team wrestling which was their preferred modes operandi in the 2010 World Cup final against the same opponents.

I shall be watching out too for Mexico, their coach sounds like he will be offering touchline VFM plus their “all action midfielder” (copyright The Guardian guide) Hector Herrea’s nickname is the fox. Top man.

Saturday there will of course be three nervy lions on my shirt. Optimistic fox has high hopes that Roy’s boys are prep’d and ready to show the world that we can every now and again play possession football and display some youth inspired nerveless football. Pessimistic fox, suspects that OF has been at the cooking sherry and can’t believe this naivety. PF plans to watch the game from behind the sofa and at the final whistle, raise eyes skywards and mouth, “do you never learn?”, followed by a list of tournament disappointments, where we watched them and whether I cried, as a Pirlo inspired Italia take England apart. That man is everywhere – I have enough Paninis of him for a sticker 5-aside team.

Eagle-eyed readers might have noticed a slight tweak to the blog header (the bit at the top of the page not a forehead coming into contact with a ball). Thanks to Mikey B for the sprinkling of global dust.

Prepare for the weekend my petit World Cup warriors. The pitches might not all be ready but we are. Time to commence negotiations more delicate than anything that has ever taken before in the Middle East, as you work tirelessly with your fellow house sharers to come to some suitable agreement that gives you full land rights to the remote control and clear unfettered access to the fridge and snack drawer (Stella and bacon fries? So kind. Don’t mind if I do).

Until Monday….

El Lost Zorro

YESTERDAY’S RESULT
Brazil 3 Croatia 1

TODAY’S FIXTURES
5pm Mexico v Cameroon, Grp A,
8pm Spain v Netherlands, Grp B
11pm Chile v Australia, Grp B

WEEKEND FIXTURES
Saturday
5pm Colombia v Greece, Grp C
8pm Uruguay v Costa Rica, Grp D
11pm Italy v England, Grp D
Sunday
2am (DO ME A FAVOUR!!!) Ivory Coast v Japan, Grp C
5pm Switzerland v Ecuador, Grp E
8pm France v Honduras
11pmArgentina v Bosnia, Grp F

Phrase of the day – Italian
Malato come un pappagallo
Sick as a parrot

Website of the day – Brilliant deck of cards, featuring World Cup starts from over the decades
http://dunksillustration.co.uk/World%20Cup%20Playing%20Cards.html

Dish of the day/weekend – Bosnia
One for the meat eaters today. With easy to follow instructions and pictures…..back of the cookery net!
http://bakingwithsibella.com/2013/08/07/bosnian-stuffed-peppers/

I’ve always been a club over country kind of a fox. But oh, tournament football how I do love thee and especially a World Cup. Maybe it’s the fault of Mrs Stephens, the fearsome teacher of Class 4, making us do a project on Argentina 78. Maybe it’s the excuse to watch wall to wall football for four weeks, the potential upsets, the wall charts or the sticker albums (going badly this time round, seeing as you ask). Whatever it is, every time I think I have grown out of it I’m sucked in by the need to give my international football shirt collection a good airing, a naive belief that Ingurland might do ok and the knowledge that on and off pitch controversy and bizarre commentary moments are guaranteed.

And so TLF will be rambling on Rio, burbling from Brasilia (I wish!) and crooning about Copacabana but definitely NOT having a Brazilian.

For 24 days and 64 games I’ll be keeping a laconic and bleary eye on 32 teams, 736 countries, 12 stadiums…or is it stadia? I’m never sure. Anyway if you want stats, detailed analysis or hand wringing over the grim realities of what Brazil has spent on stadia/ums as opposed to basic domestic necessities (and it’s a point that needs to be made, just not here) then get ye to a broadsheet newspaper and an overly complicated wall chart. Here there will be nothing but 5 days per week (weekends are free for the sake of research and my relationship) of randomness, whimsy, and very likely the occasional rant.

As is traditional the opening game sees the hosts taking on Croatia. Will the Selecao crumble under the weight of a nation’s expectations? (Cliché alert) Or will Ney-mar it for the Croats? (BOOMBOOM) More importantly is a spray can of shaving foam really going to eliminate the inaccurate placing of the ball at a free kick? And who will provide general grumpiness and scowling in the ITV studio after Roy Keane’s late departure? And these my friends are the kind of vital questions I intend to answer in the weeks ahead.

The Copa do Mundo is almost upon us, your wall should be festooned with wall charts, expectations should be lowered and the fridge should be stocked. Do The Lost Fox proud; it’s time for Brasiiiiiiiiiiiiiil 2014.

TLF, or as the French would have it Le Renard Perdu

TODAY’S FIXTURE
9pm Brazil v Croatia

Phrase of the day (Portugese)
Faz favour. Posso ter as direcoes para o estadio um pouco incompero?
Excuse me. May I have directions to the slightly incomplete stadium?

Website of the day – Not that arty but I quite like to see all the kits at a glance
www.myfootballfacts.com/FIFA_World_Cup_2014_Finals.html#anchor_86

Dish of the day – and it’s the perfect start for the vegetarians with a fine cottage cheese and squash combination up front. The vegans don’t even make it off the bench.

BUCNICA (Squash Cottage Cheese Strudel)