Bricking it

Posted on September 29, 2020 by Sophie

No not a scared TLF.

This is all about, The Bricks.

And no, not a trip to Legoland.

We are talking a genuine football away day, involving a train a and a bus (the 107 from bus stop A at Elstree & Borehamwood Station for any bus timetable fans), AND in the company of Mr TLF. I know, Mr TLF on an awayday!? That’s got to be special.

We were off to Brickfield Lane, which as any fule kno is the home of Hadley FC. Well actually even the fule that is TLF didn’t kno that until we were invited there by matchday sponsor Davy Mac. And it was a special occasion, as Hadley’s FA Vase First Round Qualifying game against Hadleigh United (yep, it’s the homophone derby) was sponsored in the memory of Sarah Elizabeth Tomkinson, Davy’s wife.

Sarah died of Covid in April this year. And I think we all know that with lockdown and its accompanying restrictions the chance to mark someone’s death and celebrate someone’s life has been more than limited. So, this was a chance for Davy and friends to raise a glass and a smile and while it can’t make up for the loss, I like to think that all those in attendance did Sarah, and Davy, proud.

The sun shone (to the point where pasty white TLF wished she packed her sun cream) and the beers flowed (icy, cold bottles of Stella could make TLF a more regular visitor to this ground). There was much socially distanced bonhomie with old friends and new; the common language of football and ineptitude at the tennis ball game (closest to the centre spot wins) both proving to be high quality ice breakers. All this and the right result on the pitch too, with Hadley running out 2-0 winners, cheered on by a small but perfectly formed crowd, whose chant of, “there’s only one H in Hadley”, reminded me what I am missing about going to non-league football.

Davy wrote a witty and hear-warming tribute to Sarah in the programme, and I think the final sentence deserves repeating.
“Be not sad she is no more, rather, be happy she was.”

Here’s to them both.
Honorary Hadley Fox

Matchday essentials

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Minding my language

Posted on September 17, 2020 by Sophie

So pessimistic was TLF about the start of the Prem (can’t go to the game and even if I could Lesta will be pants) that at the weekend I felt obliged to create a bit of distraction.

What better way to do that than a) place some doubly disloyal household bets with a few quid on defeats for Mr TLF’s bubbly Hammers & the Foxes. The latter not as foolish as it seems based on Lesta’s 2020 and their dismal track record against promoted teams in the opening game of the season.

And b) introduce a new household law (in a limited and specific way) that our living room will be a swearing free zone for the duration of all televised Lesta games this season. For some that might not seem like a challenge but any fule kno that for a TLF, football, despair and swearing are the holy trinity. As a child, discovering and perhaps over-using the ‘naughty words’ I was always advised that too much swearing was evidence of a limited vocabulary (I know; f***ing ridiculous). So, a chance for TLF to extend her very limited football vocab.

Willpower and the dictionary alone will not achieve this however; hiding behind the Sunday paper during a nervy opening to the game proved to be quite a handy safety net. As things improved and the Lesta goals went in, TLF felt less likely to swear but was suitably pessimistic until the final whistle. Much to the amusement of Mr TLF who with four minutes to go accepted my point that we could still f&ck mess it up, providing West Brom scored ‘a goal per minute.’

Mind you he did need something to laugh about as he reflected on domestic defeats at quoits, darts and TLF being in credit following West Ham’s defeats.

Flipping marvellous.

Unsweary Fox

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The new normal…

Posted on September 9, 2020 by Sophie

With yesterday’s announcement of the Conference South fixtures, TLF’s diary is once again full of fixtures. But the pre-season body clock remains a little out of synch as the TLF little grey cells (eat yer heart out Hercule…) try to process the new and old normal.

The new normal (NN) tends to apply to the Mighty Saints. The first St Albans City home game will be in in the month of October, and although the latest government announcements might put it at risk, the plan is/was that fans will be in attendance but masks will be de rigueur and there will be NO hugs. Boycotting on grounds of ticket prices will be depressingly old normal but disappointment on behalf of some re new club badge is certainly NN. And for now the Saintettes sponsorship of a player has not coincided with him leaving the club so that’s a welcome NN.

For my beloved Foxes, games will be behind closed doors, which after Project Restart is old normal, as sadly, is the continued lack of strength in depth of the squad. ‘Sold one first team player, bought one’ is not the kind of a ‘summer break’ scoreline that a fan wants to read particularly after your team limped though, not just the end of the season but most of 2020. And when we are due to crowbar the NN that is Europa League fixtures into what promises to be a whirlwind of a domestic season, it doesn’t exactly instill optimism. Excuse TLF while she googles the odds on the first Premier League manager to be sacked.

But never mind Brendan’s problems for a moment. TLF has her own challenges to overcome.

Now this really is the NN. TLF is out of practice. I’m like a player who has been out of the side for months, the confidence has gone…..I’ve forgotten the old normal of how to bamboozle Mr TLF into not realising that I am abandoning Saturday domestic bliss in exchange for a Stella/Amstel/Singha fuelled afternoon at the footy.

Do I ply him with booze and get his agreement while he is under the influence? Do I argue it is my duty to attend and oil the wheels of the local economy? Do I shout ‘Look over there! It’s a very rare and important old car that you will want to admire and discuss with the owner for the next 2 hours’ and then run?…Or do I just play the “I’ve not been to a football match for a gazillion days and goodness knows what that will do for my wellbeing’ card…although I suppose that is a bit of a one off. Or do I adopt a NN and drag him with me? At least I’ve got until October to perfect my techniques or possibly even longer…….

Never Normal Fox

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A whimper not a bang

Posted on August 24, 2020 by Sophie

And a very late one at that. It feels very odd to be writing an end of season flourish when the new season should be upon us. But these are unprecedented times. And yes, before any of you get any clever ideas, yes, TLF is aware that the extended Premier League season finished in July so this is a mere 29 days late (doesn’t time fly in a pandemic….). But ever since then TLF has been suffering from a nasty bout of unprecedented CBAN-20.

Can’t-Be-Arsed-Ness-2020 can strike anyone. Age, underlying health conditions and eyesight issues that may require fixing at Barnards Castle are not relevant. Excess work demands, the throwing away of a Champions League place (No, it is okay I really am over it), witnessing of a general sh1tshow, politicians having no shame and a new set of disagreements at the Mighty Saints are all likely causes and when combined together can lead to blog threatening levels of apathy. Also, to be fair (or TBF as TLF likes to say) I did ramble quite a lot through significant periods of football free April, May and beyond, when normally TLF would have been putting her paws up.

It is of course an odd season to look back on. The Mighty Saints were not mighty, Lesta were brilliant and then not brilliant, and the world went to hell in a handcart. A pandemic and a country’s response to it brings out the very best of the best people and the very worst of the worst people as a wise Mr TLF stated.

It bought out of TLF some comedy blog moments, a bit too much booze, 8 (EIGHT) new football shirts (3 of which were for charidee so they don’t count), some new recipes, blonde hair and a whole new level of respect for health and social care workers and all those essential workers, we never really thought of as being essential before (post office people, refuse collectors, supermarket staff to name but a few), and perhaps most unexpectedly Marcus

Oh, and a new bit of pronunciation to argue about. Just like we don’t go to Barrrth. We don’t wear marrrrsks on public transport or in Sainsbury’s. Not some mad anti-vaxxer/rebellion movement, just the ‘Short A speakers of the Midlands and North’ teaching Mr TLF and the residents of St Albans that you wear a MASK. With a short A. See. Told you time flies in a pandemic.

The unofficial TLF break is over. Tempting though it is to wait until I can set paw in a football ground, there is always something to ramble about. From the amusement that is a 1970s cheese cookbook to how to have a festival in your parents’ back garden.

Give me another week and I’m all paws or even yours.

Slacking off Fox

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LOST: 12 point cushion

Posted on July 23, 2020 by Sophie

And we are not talking soft furnishings.

Mislaid in the Lestashire area, with reverberations and recriminations felt as far as St Albans, a twelve point Champions League cushion seems to have been carelessly tossed aside. If found please return to
B Rodgers,
Filbert Way,
LE2 7FL

In the event that not even a smattering of it is found then TLF’s mood will just have to rely on

Summer days in Dorset

Sun setting on 4th place……

Long lunches in St Albans

I’ll have the mixed grill and a side order of Europa League

A stunning quoits victory over Mr TLF that more than outweighs a Champions League spot. Honest.

Champione!

Almost taking it in her stride Fox

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The rise and fall of a TLF weekend

Posted on July 16, 2020 by Sophie

It starred swimmingly. Well metaphorically obviously, pools not being open yet n’all.

A day off on Friday and a suitably masked trip into London. The first for 120 days for a haircut. Now admittedly trips to the well known hair emporium, ‘ Mr TLF’s Trims’, have been pretty successful, but sooner or later the difficult bits of the coiffure that we have studiously ignored start to need attention. Time for a professional to sort it out, although Mr TLF does remain an inspiration as we maintained an element of his unintended and yet well executed undercut.

Now surplus to requirements


A newly shorn TLF then found herself in a pub for the first time in 128 days (not that I was counting or anything). A seat at a pre-booked table at the Mermaid and a cheeky pint with the lovely Lee, football programme editor of this parish.

And still the eased lockdown cup continued to runneth over, as TLF hot-pawed it to Lussmanns for dinner avec Mr TLF. Lussmanns! TLF’s favourite venue of choice and provider of lockdown food delivery, up and running in a socially distanced way. Perfect food and perhaps, just perhaps better serving skills thanks yours truly.

Not bad……


But better


Satday delivered even more weekend happiness and normality. A visit from one of the TLF parental sets (Woodhouse Eaves branch). After months of meet ups cancelled due to both storms and pandemics, we were in our garden with victuals and bonhomie.

Now clearly there comes a point where too much joy is dangerous. Or so the Footballing Gods believe, as they staged a Sunday intervention to ensure that TLF didn’t suffer from a joy overload.
And goodness me they did it in style.
That’s the Footballing Gods.
Not Lesta.
They were really pants.
Really, really pants.

Football is Dead to Me Fox

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Handy Hint 7 revisited

Posted on July 10, 2020 by Sophie

Snippets of TLF lockdown wisdom have been on pause since the return of the fitba. But these unprecedented times still throw up the occasional lockdown challenge and in the spirit of generosity and nothing to do with needing to distract from ongoing football disappointment, TLF is proud to bring you an updated handy hint.

As a well known fashionista, TLF was well placed to address the conundrum of conducting interviews, while working from home, and when you have got very used to the comfort of that ‘third wardrobe’ (see 30 May). So for only the second and I really promise this time, last time, enjoy this brief TLF trip into haute couture advice.

Step one

Choose shorts du jour

Step two

Sliders or trainers?

Step three

Choose a work shirt (agggh)

And for those moments of indecision, don’t take advice from 30 May, it really won’t work.

Just bloody choose one

Half smart Fox

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Not ‘semper eadem’ at all….

Posted on July 4, 2020 by Sophie

As any fule kno the usual TLF reaction to football defeat and the late conceding of equalisers is generally of the nuclear variety. Gale force 10 levels of swearing and plutonium grade door kicking (the latter applies to instances of indoor viewing only, obvs). But the midweek defeat to Everton was met with a shrug of the shoulders, in part no doubt because it has become the ‘new normal’ for Foxes fans, but also because it came after the news that Lesta would be the first area to go into local lockdown. While there is no concern for the TLF parentals; both sets being far from the area concerned, it just felt incredibly sad for all those businesses who had spent time and money readying themselves for 4th July but now cannot open. Likewise, for those who had planned to see much loved relatives for the first time in months. You might think I’m a soppy old TLF for taking this to heart, when I’ve not lived there for decades, but it will always be where I came from and I can picture the shops and the streets that won’t be as busy as planned today.

A Foxes win today would be a boost for all concerned, but I think on this occasion I’d trade that for things not going awry in my home city this weekend and them being able to catch up with the rest of us soon.
Home Fox

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Get clacking!

Posted on June 27, 2020 by Sophie

An inauspicious start for Lesta and West Ham to Project Restart. Or, as it is currently known in TLF Towers, Project ReStall. After four games, our teams have amassed between them a miserable 2 points. And ‘between us’ would suggest some type of joint venture, which so far has not proved to be the case.

Even the powers of delivery were conspiring against TLF. While Lesta fans were taking to Twitter on Tuesday to celebrate receipt of a little ‘home supporters’ pack pre the Brighton tedium, TLF was pathetically scanning her letterbox and suffering from a bit of FOMO. Mr TLF and his ears didn’t seem so bothered.

But finally the package has arrived, and Mr TLF is reaching for the earplugs. Just in time for a Cup game against Chelsea, whose restart has been a bit more successful so far. Oh well, I’ll go down clacking.

Clackker Fox

Nice touch LCFC

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Out of practice

Posted on June 22, 2020 by Sophie

Project restart is up and running. After such a long layoff, it is generally accepted that players are not as sharp as theyk might be, some teams look fitter than others, and the lack of competitive football was evidenced by some inaccurate shooting and some poor first touches.

It’s not just the footballers of course. The viewing public might just be a bit rusty as well. I’m pretty sure that if, three months ago, while Lesta were on the telly, Mr TLF heard, from the living room an anguished, “Boll@cks! Boll@cks! Boll@cks! Boll@cks!” Accompanied by the furious kicking of the living room door, he would know that something bad had just occurred. He would not have needed to come to the living door and ask ‘what happened?’

TLF on the other hand, straight back into the swing of it with usual stress, swearing and general despair. Clearly some of us put the hours in during lockdown and some of us didn’t. Back to the training ground for some.

Sweary Fox

Colour coded weekend

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