“I will prepare and some day my chance will come”
I’m not sure Abe Lincoln was talking about running his local non-league football club shop but TLF’s chance to be in loco parentis of the merchandise arrived on the evening of the FA Cup game against Corinithians. TLF doesn’t really do numbers, but put me behind a sales counter and all fingers and toes will be employed to make sure nothing goes awry and excess bon homie will be deployed to make all shoppers welcome.
Of course double bon homie (and more digits to help the counting) is always welcome and so behind the counter that evening were the dream team that is TLF and Julie. Some people view us as Morecambe & Wise others more Cagney & Lacey but either way, I like to think that there is the potential for us to become a great retail double act.
Not only do we instinctively know whether it’s our turn to take the money or record the items sold in the holy sales notebook, thereby ensuring seamless service for the customer, but we also have an unerring ability to boost the takings. It would be too tawdry to talk actual figures but at the last count I think our wallets accounted for 23.2% of all takings for the evening.
We didn’t just take away ‘stuff’ though. We took away a bit of joy. Not from the football pitch I assure you, which ended in a disappointing 1-1 draw, but in interaction with the punters. Selling the last programme to an incredibly relieved St Albans stalwart or a badge to a delighted visiting supporter who gets a badge from every ground he goes to and was worried we wouldn’t have them (outrageous thought!) it was all good fun. Even the many people who asked if we sold tea were grateful for our directions to the actual tea emporium. And the man who seemed very attached to his can of Diamond White (we were guessing it wasn’t his first) was very chatty and shook our hands; even though we didn’t sell him anything. I think if we had been selling booze he might have parted with more of his hard earned cash than the shopkeepers did.
Julie, unflinching in her careful recording of all items sold
And as if by magic a shopkeeper appeared
It was a great evening but TLF recognises that she remains a shopkeeping apprentice, with more to learn. Trying to watch the whole first half from the confines of the shop, for example, will mean your neck being turned to the right for 45 minutes. That in turn will mean that you will take home a cricked neck to go with your latest SACFC garments. Although on the plus side, the neck will recover, unlike the wallet.
Open all hours Fox
Match stats
St Albans City 1 Corinthian Casuals 1
Beverages: 1 bottle water and 1 packet low calorie, low fat popcorn. I hate week night football.
Losing raffle and goalden goal tickets: 10 and 1 but all given to me by Trevor which was kind.
Warning: view from shop can seriously damage your neck