The Shrove Tuesday Cup

Posted on February 20, 2021 by Sophie

In a moment (and there are many) of Lockdown 3 boredom, TLF decides it was time to dip a paw in a new cookery league. Yep, 51 years young and never made a pancake.

Pre-match signs were good. Team selection matched the recommended ingredients, and TLF had adopted a sensible approach for a debutant – cautious weighing and measuring and precision recipe following. She had even employed the ‘let the batter rest’ formation, which has served many a league winner well.

Sadly the pre-match plans went out of the window as TLF committed the schoolboy error of a frying lukewarm pan. All that effort only to see the first few attacks end up not in the goal but the food recycling bin. By half time, TLF was reeling and the pancake mix was bossing the game.

Nothing for it but to change it and bring on Mr TLF from the subs bench. Well the sofa. Yes he bought much needed heat but he also brought too much oil to the party and while there was some cooking going on it was not of a pancake shape. But as the second half wore on this new combination started to gel and the TLF managed to hit the back of the net. Or pan.

By the final whistle there were four savoury stuffed ‘almost pancakes’ all ready for the oven and what we are calling a blue cheese and mushroom pancake melange. An ugly victory maybe. But a victory is still a victory, especially when it’s edible.

Battered Fox

Don’t judge a book by its cover. Tasted okay

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Site report

Posted on February 13, 2021 by Sophie

Time to check in with the leaning tower of papers (well you haven’t got much else on have you?)

TLF Construction Services are pleased to report that good progress continues to be made. The daily supply of materials is reliable, the workers continue to follow the architect’s plans to the letter and working conditions are top dollar.

Please though don’t be fooled into thinking that this is a simple project where you just bung yesterday’s paper on top of the day before’s paper. To achieve the height we are after requires a careful assessment of which way each layer should be placed and don’t get me started on how you manage the weekend building materials with their irregular sizing.

The one unforeseen challenge which wasn’t on the risk register was what to do when it rains on a Satday. Now any fule kno the tower is an indoor tower, but after a proper soaking on the Satday morning run, any fule also kno that the most effective means of drying sodden trainers is to stuff them with discarded newspapers. But these days there is no such item at TLF Towers, and it would be cheating the build to not use our full compliment of weekly papers. Only thing for it – a copy of the Daily Star, your cheapest Satday trainer dryer.

TLF perspective affected by Lockdown 3?
Never.

TLF the Builder

Onwards and upwards

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Flick to kick

Posted on February 5, 2021 by Sophie

By R. E. Porter

There was a palpable sense of excitement at the TLF Towers Stadium last Satday as for the first time in its history it was home to Subutteo.

Sadly, the ground staff were perhaps not as prepared as they should have been, with kick off delayed as they had committed a schoolFox error; a pitch folded for over 10 years requires a LOT of ironing.

Well that’s not a good look


An historic moment


But eventually kick off arrived. Although after the build up and the expectations of history they fans perhaps deserved better. Whether it was a much closer application of the rules than occurred back in their yoof or a total lack of skills by these mature teams, there was little to excite the crowd, unless they had come to see a record breaking number of players leave the field of play, rather than connect with the ball. Plenty of missed passes, and players receiving the ball with their back to the goal and the managers not knowing how to flick em round so they could take the ball in the direction of the opponent’s goal.

The first half saw no shots on target with the main point of debate, whether concussion protocols should apply to players who fell off the table. (NB it should be noted this was never due to foul play and always to do with incompetent flicking).

The second half continued in much the same vein until remarkably, TLF found herself in charge of a player facing the right way and hit the target in the final minute.

“Thank goodness for that,” said all concerned.

1-0 to the least incompetent Fox

GOOOOALLLLL!!!!

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In the pink

Posted on January 27, 2021 by Sophie

Good cheer was in short supply on
1. Conference South (The league of the Mighty Saints) postponed for 2 weeks
2. Jamie Vardy out for several weeks because of a hernia operation
3. Lesta’s manager convinced that Ayoze Perez and Kelechi Iheanacho are adequate replacements
4. New corona virus strain more deadly than the first
(NB the above items may not be in order of importance)

Thank goodness for cheering little surprises from the Advent calendar of Port.

Pink port! Who knew??

And don’t worry the Tower of Papers continues to grow.

There’s an art to this you know….

Rose Fox

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The devil makes work for idle paws

Posted on January 19, 2021 by Sophie

I’ve been a bit of a remiss TLF.
Lockdown 3 is upon us and yet no mention of how to survive it.
So here goes. For the record:
We will not be making marmalade.
Or tik-tocking sea shanties (it’s a thing apparently)
Or baking cheesecake (the latest lockdown requires bigger comfort food than banana bread so the papers say).

Instead here at TLF Towers we will mainly be:
Pretending it’s still Christmas. Which is easy when you had to buy 2 boxes of crackers for 2 people to ensure equality of football arms.

Crackers!


And, in the interests of science, seeing how high we can build our recycling tower of current affairs. It’s a nice mixture of the Guardian and The Times, with a foundation of 442 magazines and the famous Xmas double edition of the Radio Times. The secret we believe is in alternating the fold in the paper. And we are sure you will be on the edge of your keyboards to see how high we can go. Like it or not we will keep you posted.

The potentially leaning tower of papers


Not-bored-at-all Fox

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New signing

Posted on January 13, 2021 by Sophie

New year and early on in the transfer window it was a new club for TLF.

There’s a lot to take in. New team mates, new formations, new tactics and the training is all virtual. A small adjustment to the home kit, as befits the respect a debutante should show to their new team; the jeans and trainers are still employed but even TLF knows the football shirt collection needs to be benched and replaced by something slightly more formal.

But some things stay the same – the club canteen looks remarkably similar and is still patrolled by the mug polis and there’s no change in the home ground as TLF ran out on Monday 4th at the very familiar Working From Home Stadium

Very tired, very out of words and brain cells to inspire a quality ramble but very happy. And as with any transfer important to celebrate it. And what better in pandemic times than with an expansion of the mask collection.

Signing on fee…


New Girl Fox

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Many ports in a storm

Posted on December 30, 2020 by Sophie

Advent: The period of four Sundays and weeks before Christmas

There’s a slight hint that something is afoot (not a metre: BOOMBOOM!) with the nature and tone of Mr TLF’s question over Xmas lunch.
Mr TLF: You know Advent calendars?
TLF: Yes
Mr TLF: Well, can you use them in sort of er any month?
TLF: Well. I suppose you could. But they do only have 24 or 25 windows. And they are for advent. You know the bit in the run up to Xmas.
Mr TLF: Oh. Yeah…..
TLF (on a roll now): Some people do recycle them I suppose. But I couldn’t recycle my Paddington Bear one, (that I bought myself because you never buy one), because each window has a sticker in it and I’m going to use the stickers. And you couldn’t recycle chocolate ones.

Mr TLF offers a weak smile at this excess of Advent calendar opinion and the conversation moves on. After lunch Mr TLF suggests that the first present TLF should open is her advent calendar. TLF despairs of not noticing the warning signs….and thinks ‘can always save it for next year.’ But actually when it looks like this…

Less calendar, more case…

And contains 24 of these (of six varieties!)….

Oooooh

then actually I think an advent calendar really could be for life; not just for Christmas.
Although to be honest it won’t last that long.

PortoFox

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Numbers game

Posted on December 24, 2020 by Sophie

After celebrating live football in the last blog, TLF was clearly acting as a jinx as with unseemly pace St Albans dropped into Tier 3, before a couple of days later crashing into the newly created Tier 4. NO football. In fact, not much of anything at all. Last weekend was therefore a bit of a sombre (but of course not sober) one and there was nothing for it but to find solace in some festivity with the putting up of the tree.

TLF confesses that she had gone a foot higher this year (sorry Mr TLF). What the spatial unaware TLF hadn’t appreciated was that with extra length comes extra breadth (get your minds out of the gutter please Dear Reader). We therefore have the Ade Akinfenwa of trees Chez TLF this Christmas. In the interest of peace on earth and goodwill to all TLFs, the decorations play out an honourable draw.

Higher up the tree

You can stay. I suppose. Just know your place on the lower branches


Yesterday was all about collecting the pre-ordered Xmas goodies. I did do a bit of a double take at one entry on our order summary, “36 pigs in blankets. Serves 18.”

18?! What kind of Christmas maths is that!? That would be TWO each. With dinner. Where are the ones you snaffle throughout the afternoon as you ‘pop into the kitchen’ and the ones you put in your Boxing Day sandwich!? Mr Sainsbury clearly needs some catering advice.

Wishing you the merriest one you can manage.
Fox in a blanket

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Open for business….briefly

Posted on December 19, 2020 by Sophie

Satday 12 December and Clarence Park was OPEN!

It couldn’t be quite the same just yet of course.
The bar requires booking for a pre or post-match visit, and of course your Stella must come with a substantial meal (no government spokesperson was available to confirm how many packets of bacon fries constitute a substantial meal). Not being a substantial meal kind of a TLF, a bit of home catering did the job pre-match.

All the major food groups


We also have to be careful where we put our feet to ensure social distancing and to avoid the wrath of some very enthusiastic stewards.

And of course we are all in masks.

All masked up and somewhere to go


BUT to see mates, to hear bad jokes, to see the team live and to witness the heckling of the ref by a divot replacer, well what’s not to like?

And if that wasn’t enough, the Mighty Foxes and the (slightly less) Mighty Hammers both won; even though Mr TLF had placed wagers on both of them. And TLF’s cheeky, secret bet on Burnley to beat Arsenal also squeaked in.

It sure was fun while it lasted.
Tier 3 Fox

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Let’s hear it for Plan B

Posted on December 12, 2020 by Sophie

In these unprecedented times (hooray!), the possession of Plan B has become ever more important. And last weekend Plan B served TLF well:
Mighty Saints away from home & away fans not allowed? No problem; time for another trip to see the Mighty Bricks (Hadley FC) in the FA Trophy.
Bar at Brickfield Lane closed? No problem; disaster averted as Hat Boy’s car was accessorised with Estrella and snackage.

Unfortunately for Hadley’s opponents, Raynes Park Vale, they were not in possession of a Plan B and were on the wrong end of a 4-1 scoreline. Two of Hadley’s goals were absolute belters including one that flew into the top corner from 25 yards while most Hadley players were still expressing outrage that they hadn’t just been awarded a penalty – great advantage ref!

Raynes Park’s keeper, Dan, looked like a man who was desperate for a Plan B and his body language suggested that as long as Plan B didn’t involve being on a football pitch he would have been happy. Admittedly he was subject to some ‘bantz’ from a less than witty grown up and 4 small children, but the goals were largely not his fault and ‘pipe down Dan’ and ‘my great grandma would be better in goal than you dan’ are possibly not the worst things he will ever have to listen to during his football career.

And there was more on B Day; turns out TLF witnessed history as Hadley made it to the third round of the FA Vase for the first time in their history. Blimey!

Beta Fox

Overlooking the Hadley Ultras (junior branch)

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