Everyone is reacting to these uncertain times in a variety of ways. Some better than others.
With no football, and indeed no activities that demand TLF misses football to provide a suitable distraction, there is an obligation to step up and at the very least try to vaguely entertain.
Unfortunately Bardolph is insisting on getting in on the act this week. It’s rare I say it, but he’s a misguided fox on occasions.
Home made mask. Yeah like that’ll work.
Chief Medical Fox (CMF)
It seems that my February football famine was good preparation for the new world we find ourselves in. Although last time I could at least rely on at least some live games on the tellybox. Now it’s all about the Foxes DVDs which might not hold much appeal for Mr TLF by the fifth or sixth viewing.
The last chance for a footy fix was St Albans away last week, but TLF was as ever doing the right thing (both in terms of domestic credit and incredible foresight) by taking Mr TLF out for an early milestone birthday luncheon. A slap up tapas luncheon was consumed, backed up with an away win for the Mighty Saints.
Mr TLF was initially resistant to a birthday celebration that was 3 days early but bearing in mind the way the week developed, it all turned out for the best.
Strange times ahead.
Stay safe and await some TLF rambling about a whole new world. No doubt me working from home five days per week ‘under his feet’, will provide us with some fine material.
Socially distant Fox
A balloon for the burfday boy
Yeah right.
Not a phrase that is often employed by TLF, particularly when Mr TLF has just trounced me at badminton, hit a few more clay pigeons than me or beaten me at the derts.
And certainly not when TLF’s football teams suffer defeat. In his first week of being properly mounted (stoppit), Bardolph’s magic worked a treat for the Mighty Foxes and helped reduce TLF grumpy levels. Sadly, however his influence could not extend to the Mighty Saints as TLF’s long absence from Clarence Park was rewarded with a mood dampening defeat.
Perhaps the phrase just needs a tweak however. It’s not the winning but the…
* Pre match beers in the pub watching Liverpool with Julie
* Catching up with the fine folk running and lurking by shop and beer stall and the Saints bar
* Half time rant about politics
* The company of our fine programme editor at half time and being forced to have that fourth pint because apparently, ‘the bar doesn’t do halves’
* Seeing El Presidente Malcolm, in fine fettle and having a good chat for the first time in ages
* Four and a half pints (oops)
…that counts.
De Coubertin Fox
Fox nailed to the wall. Colours nailed to the Fox
Regular ramble readers will know that in November of this year, while on the traditional Green room Committee weekend away, TLF acquired a foxy friend (alcohol and bartering inspired by the television classic Celebrity Antiques Road Trip may have been involved). Ever since our triumphant return to Chez TLF, Bardolph, as he was christened, has languished in a bag in the spare room; another addition to the domestic ‘to do list’.
Finally, on Sunday, Bardolph was mounted (BOOMBOOM!), using some fancy, modern fixing system discovered by Mr TLF on the interweb. Whether it was the power of TLF’s scepticism vis a vis said fixing system or Bardolph just couldn’t take the weight of discovering that the ‘Mighty’ Foxes had whimpered to a 1-0 away defeat at bottom of the table Norwich City, by Monday 8.30am Bardolph had succumbed to gravity and was languishing on the landing floor.
We have now reverted to the traditional wall fixing that involves trusty hammer and nail. But Bardolph remains at risk. There is the ‘weight’ of expectation that Lesta city will bounce back in their FA Cup tie against a Championship side tomorrow and a home game against relegation-threatened Aston Villa on Monday night. I dread to think what will happen if he is disappointed and whether he could survive another drop.
Some have questioned the motivation of the players in recent weeks. I am not in that constituency, but I do hope they realise what is at stake now.
Suspended Fox
Staying up??
TLF’s winter break continues to outstay its welcome.
If nothing else it is consistent; Mighty Foxes do not kick off at 3pm on a Staday meaning that at some point during the weekend TLF gets the chance to bring the matchday stress experience into the house (poor Mr TLF). Too much time on her hands 3pm on Satday means that TLF occupies the kitchen and cooks up a storm, while following the Mighty Saints via various media outlets inc Twitter, two whatsapp groups and personalised updates from Red Julie, and drinking too much red wine.
While it would be easy to claim that this prolonged FFZ is down to domestic duties and wanting to maximise quality time with Mr TLF it should be confessed that it is often down to TLF booking up non-football distractions. This time it was Fairport Convention in Winchester. Almost like football in that it involved travelling, pubs, a capacity crowd, Mr TLF slightly there under protest and Davy Mac in attendance. More than 90 minutes however and at no point did VAR intervene in the dreadful puns of Ric Sanders. Plus the singing is a bit more tuneful than your average football ground.
A fine trip but serious proper, at-the-ground-football withdrawal symptoms are setting in…
Stir-crazy Fox
Filbert Fox is opened mouthed that a 50
+ year old band takes priority over the beautiful game
Valentines day. Different strokes for different folks:
1.Chocolates or other giftage
2.Flowers
3.A nice meal
4.A card – ironic, soppy, comedic, bought or home-made
5.A combination of the above
6.Steadfast refusal to engage in an over-commercialised event
7.Or a chance to watch your beloved stress in front of Friday night football.
‘Luckily’ for Mr TLF, the footballing fixture gods had conspired with St Valentine and randomly allocated him no 7. What more romantic experience could a chap ask for than sitting next to an increasingly animated and slightly over-wrought TLF? I can only assume that he left the living room and didn’t reappear until well after the final whistle because he was so overcome with the emotion of the whole evening as the loving phrases, “how the eff is that a free kick?” and “too bloody lightweight Perez!” reverberated around the house.
St Valentine, patron saint of lovers, epileptics and beekeepers (go figure) dates back a bit. Although just to confuse you he does have two back stories. Maybe a priest and physician martyred during the persecutions of the Christians in 270 AD or maybe the Bishop of Terni, martyred a bit later while there was still some persecution going on (‘Persecutions, Gromit, are our specialty’ the Roman Wallace might have said). And either he befriended his jailer’s daughter and sent her a letter ‘from your Valentine’ OR he defied the emperor and secretly married couples to spare husbands from the army. Such levels of unreliable information about him meant that in 1969 he was removed from the General Roman Calendar which seems a bit harsh.
Closely related is his cousin St VARentine, a more modern phenomena, although some might argue the unreliable bit still applies. His origins lie with the Dutch of all people who successfully lobbied the International Football Association Board to pilot it. While some would no doubt be grateful if at that point some Roman Emperor had intervened and created a modern martyr it wasn’t to be. Over time the legend that is VARentine spread to the point that now he inhabits the premier league; persecuted and cursed regularly but generally having the last laugh.
Just like you will always have a complicated relationship with matters of the heart, so too with VAR. Even if you hate it, you may find yourself quite grateful. Going to bed on 14 February, relieved that your underperforming team had dodged a bullet and scraped an away draw thanks to the patron saint of ‘clear and obvious error’.
Stockley Park Fox
Marching orders
It seems that TLF is, like the Premier League subject to a winter break from the beautiful game.
This new February break is according to the FA, “a benefit to both club and country.” They seem to have omitted the significant domestic brownie points benefit that TLF will be banking as she endures enjoys what at close inspection turns out to be a significantly longer period in the football free zone than your average Premier League footballer.
Still that is probably only right and proper as so far said footballers have proved that they don’t know how to spend their time wisely, unlike TLF:
Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang I laugh in the face of your champagne slurping on a private jet, as the TLFs enjoy the Labour Party quiz at New Greens social club, fish and chip supper including, natch.
Away with you and your Miami beach parrot company, Michy Batshuayi when you could have been winning two. Yes TWO, raffle prizes at said quiz.
Oi James Maddison! and whistle. I see your infinity pool and I raise you a trip to the Odyssey cinema watching 1917 with a glass of vino?
And as for the multitudes with those beach pose photos from Dubai (insert name of any club for a representative), why bother when you could be sharing via instagram your Satday tapas South Side…well Bankside.
No. Not fish fingers. Deep fried cheese.
Meatballs, pastas braves and a comment on my photography
Jack Frost Fox
TLF’s mate Mr Shakespeare only references the month of February once in all his writing, describing Benedick’s unwelcoming expression as a February face, “full of frost, of storm and cloudiness.”
In the case of TLF this would perhaps more accurately describe my ‘last week of January face’ as
My team lose a cup semi-final.
Europe is lost to us.
We lose Nicholas Parsons.
(I leave you dear reader, to decide the order of importance of these various occurrences to your TLF).
“The only way is up, February”, as the chanteuse Yazz never said.
Just a minute Fox
A rare footballing excursion last week. Not only was it a skool nite, but the TLFs were in attendance a deux due to the generosity of David Gilmore as guests in the DG Legal box. A chance to renew old acquaintances, make some new ones and provoke a whole different level of footballing-relationship angst as the Foxes hosted Mr TLF’s Hammers.
And just to reassure you there was not a prawn in sight.
There was masala fish and salt n pepper fish, naan bread and a host of other delights in our pe-match smorgasbord of Indian starters, courtesy of Spicy Handii (handy for Filbert Way as I never tire of saying).
And quite a bit of beer.
And lucky socks, shirt and hat/glove combo. Although to be honest I have so confused myself with regard to the contents of the TLF ‘book of luck, superstition and nonsense’, it is all a bit of a lucky-garment-dip these days. Seemed to work out ok in the end. For the Foxes obviously, which proves Mr TLF’s lucky garment scepticism might need a bit of a rethink. Or if not his scepticism certainly his team’s defence.
As ever thanks to the lovely David and his guests who put up with TLF levels of exuberance and despair that only Mr TLF is used to, and an even bigger thank you to the LCFC employee who looks after this section of the ground and informed me with a big grin on her face that she likes to see me at games, “because there is nothing corporate about you love.”
High praise indeed.
Fox in the box (literally)
What a difference…
…31 minutes makes
While I am keen to avoid a rambling rut it does seem that after only a week we may have another entry for the TLF ‘book of luck, superstition and plain old nonsense.’
Temperatures meant that Satday was definitely a hat and gloves day for any self-respecting TLF who wanted to visit Clarence Park and avoid frostbite. Exaggerate? Moi? Perish (BOOMBOOM!) the thought.
It won’t surprise you to hear that TLF has a collection of winter warmers and to keep all and sundry happy it is crucial to operate a bit of squad rotation from time to time. Emergency Cropredy purple hat (ECPH), hadn’t had a look in all season and it was about time that it was promoted from the reserves to the starting TLF bonce. In fact, it was its footballing debut, ECPH previously having only seen service in typical Cropredy Festival weather last summer, when TLF had foolishly forgotten, after 20 years of attending the festival that a bobble hat can sometimes be essential evening attire during August in England.
Now anyone who knows me knows that I am a TLF who places a great emphasis on the importance of co-ordination and accessorising, and so it was inevitable that I would be matching my hat with a similar shade of purple in the glove department. Plus the purple gloves are the warmest if I’m honest.
The Mighty Saints were facing TLF’s favourite geographic conundrum Maidenheadstone. Who play in yellow. Except when they are away and then they play in.
Yep.
Purple.
Remarkably this footballing fashion faux pas by TLF proved to be the backdrop to a successful afternoon. Not only was the terrace innuendo of top quality (you had to be there to understand the true importance of a fleecy rim) but after a lacklustre first half and via a slightly bizarre deflection St Albans City won a game, lifting the Mighty Saints to the giddy heights of two spaces out of the relegation zone.
And thus the lucky-hat-and-glove-the-same-colour-as-the-opposition rule was born.
Sadly, the rule was not followed by TLF the next day as she sat down to watch Lesta away at Burnley without a scrap of claret and blue in sight. The inevitable defeat followed.
On Wednesday of this week, it is that most difficult of domestic fixtures as TLF’s Foxes host Mr TLF’s Hammers, whose change kit these days is white (West Ham not Mr TLF). Not a colour that graces the TLF winter warmers drawer.
To the shops!
Woolly Fox
The TLF look for January
